The scene opens up in the offices of Real Sociedead.
The assistant enters holding the magical up-to-the-minute-updates team sheets for Real and Fulham, shaking his head as he peruses them.

Assis.: This is bad.

Sera: What is?

Assis.: We’re 50 points better than Fulham.

Sera: That sounds good to me.

Assis.: No. It means we’re giving away two handicaps.

Sera: Two what now?

Assis.: Two handicaps, to even the game?

Sera.: I don’t understand?

Assis.: To even the game out we have to give away handicaps.

Sera: O...K... you mean like in Golf?

Assis.: Sort of...

Sera: So do we have to start 1 TD down then?

Assis.: Not quite. These handicaps are more like getting our players wrongly arrested, bribing the referee or knee capping a few of our guys.

Sera: That seems extreme.

Assis.: It’s a tough sport.

Sera: Not so tough that a team is allowed an advantage of course.

Assis.: No, not that tough, that would be unfair.

Sera: Unfair as in playing a team of 15 av9 dorfs all with guard and supported by some crazy stake wielding whore whilst still giving away two handicaps?

Assis.: No, that’s considered fair.

Sera: What a strange game we play.

Assis.: Wait until we go to LRB6, it gets much weirder then...

Sera: *shudder*

Assis.: Still could be worse, they could be dirty cheating bastid dorfs.

Sera: True.

Assis.: ...

Sera: ...

Assis.: Uh-oh!

Sera: What?

Assis.: They just fired an assistant coach!

Sera: And?

Assis.: Now we’re 51 points better!

Sera: Still. Hardly seems a justifiable reason to fire someone in this current economic climate.

Assis.: You don’t get it, now they get 3 handicaps!

Sera: What the... ... What can we do to stop this madness?

Assis.: Drop 10000 gold! That’ll make our team weaker!

Sera: That makes no sense! If anything it should makes us stronger! Poor Mikel won’t be nearly as tired for having to lug all that gold about!

Assis.: Shall I drop the cash?

Sera: *sigh* Fine.

Assis.: Done.

Sera: Good.

Assis.: Phew.

Sera: Stupid.

Assis.: Uh-oh!

Sera: Now what?

Assis.: They’ve just thrown their cash away too!

Sera: Oh, for **** sake!

Assis.: We could fire a zombie?

Sera: Where will the madness end? With us playing in the BB Sevens League?! Let’s just play them already!


[Real Sociedead 1 - 1 Fulham Titans]