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Chaos All Sorts
P [L] Chaos Renegades


Enlightened member of V.I.L.L.A.I.N.S



Pitch by Karnov

LIES, DAMNED LIES...



IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE...

"The Road to Glory begins with but a single Block..... from a rampaging Minotaur"
sports comentator Gus “The Guts” Garsson

"Three Cheers for the Scissor teams walking the line,
Screams for all the Rock teams, they never bash alone,
Huzzahs for the Paper teams doomed to die,
Cries for all the damned, hunting a Prem throne

On the Fields of Bloodshed, where the Glory lies.
One Team to rule them all, a Talent Scout to find them,
One Team to bring them all and there the Coach to bind them
On the Fields of Bloodshed, where the Glory lies."

graffiti found scratched into the wood panels under the bleachers at various stadiums frequented by the Chaos All Sorts

"We take all sorts here.."
Coach D_Arquebus

SWEET PROMISES of PAIN or GAIN


Pending Conference LXX

Tavern Talk



... & STATISTICS






TROPHIES

Night Patrol Regional LXIX



TEAM RECORDS

Biggest Crowd:
19k/ 38k 7th Rd Season 63 vs Redgum's Rodents
17k/ 38k 7th Rd Season 65 vs Urban Nightmare
19k/ 38k 2nd Rd Season 66 vs Blackwater Glee Club

Biggest Match Purse:
80,000, Rd 7 Season 40 Bedouin Falcons
80,000, Rd 7 Season 62 Psych Labs
80,000, Rd 1 Season 61 Colour of Money
80,000, Rd 2 Season 65 Hostile Kiddies IV
80,000, Rd 7 Season 66 High Elvis
80,000, Rd 3 Season 69 Yutee'ess Tigerjets


Most Popular:
Fan Factor 11

Streaks
Longest Winning / Longest Drawing / Longest Losing
3 Games* / 2 Games / 2 Games

*broke the 2/2/2 on Game 69

Longest Undefeated
10

Best Victory:
4-0, Rd 3 Season 40 vs Nehams Manic Husks

4-0, Rd 2 Season 65 vs Hostile Kiddies IV

Worst Defeat:
0-3, Rd 6 Season 62 vs Orcs for Correct Spelling


AWARDS

The SWL Season XXXX Awards

Pandemonium - Highest number of blocks (66)


The SWL Season LXII Awards

Bedlam The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards - Season 62

Season 62 Conference:
Kills (4): Chaos All Sorts

The SWL Season LXIX Awards

Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 10 cas
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 4.3 block/cas
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 SPP

Bedlam The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards - Season 69

Season 69 Regional:
TDs (13): Chaos All Sorts
Cas (28): Chaos All Sorts
SPP (94): Chaos All Sorts
Rushing yards (258): Chaos All Sorts
Blocks/Cas (10.5): Chaos All Sorts
Pass/Cp (2.3): Chaos All Sorts

LXIX SWL All Star
Bedlam

LXIX Rising-Stars
Bedlam
Caterwaul






FOUNDING TEAM

Pandemonium**DECEASED** - STAR

Bedlam ACTIVE - STAR

Muddle ACTIVE - STAR

Anarchy **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR

Clutter **DECEASED** - VETERAN

Disarray *RETIRED* - VETERAN

Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Turmoil ACTIVE - SUPER STAR

Discord ACTIVE - STAR

Misrule **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Disorder ACTIVE - SUPER STAR


QUARTER CENTURIONS

Pandemonium ***DECEASED** - STAR

Bedlam * ACTIVE - STAR

Muddle * ACTIVE - STAR

Anarchy * **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR

Confusion **DECEASED** - VETERAN

Disarray * *RETIRED* - VETERAN

Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Turmoil * ACTIVE - SUPER STAR

Discord * ACTIVE - STAR

Misrule * **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Disorder * ACTIVE - SUPER STAR


HALF CENTURIONS

Pandemonium**DECEASED** - STAR

Bedlam ACTIVE - STAR

Muddle ACTIVE - STAR

Anarchy **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR

Clutter **DECEASED** - VETERAN

Disarray *RETIRED* - VETERAN

Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Turmoil ACTIVE - SUPER STAR

Discord ACTIVE - STAR

Misrule **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED

Disorder ACTIVE - SUPER STAR


THE FALLEN


SACRIFICES TO THE GODS

Pandemonium

Menace

Mayhem

Tumult

RNG

Tempestuous

Apprehension

Agitation

Agression

Anarchy

Clutter


PUT OUT TO STUD

Viki Versa - NI

Confusion -AG

Disarray -ST

Tempest -ST


THE ILLUMINATED


V.I.L.L.A.I.N.S

Twas a bright Autumn day in the wastes as the good fellows of The Club sat in in the executive both, with good cheer and fine brandy flowing watching their HEROES run the pants off some upstart hobgoblins.

Laughs were had, spirits were high until and a glorious long ball was thrown, spiraling deep into the opposition territory. And then it fell harmlessly to the ground with the Lion Warrior still staring into the sun looking for a clue.

And then the crunch was heard by all.

The laughs had stopped. The cheer had dissipated. Monocles were lowered. The brandy in the gold gilded cut crystal balloons had gone still.

The members held their breath, for one of the favourites was trying vainly to rise to their feet, his ankle clearly twisted in a manner most foul as the medic rushed on to the field.

And then he was still. So very, very still.

A murmur went through the crowd. A legend had fallen, and this day had somehow darkened.

The score no longer mattered, the coaches attention turned to more important matters; the organising of (another) journeyman, the hiring of a new player & subsequent training plan, and notifying the widow that her husband's neck had somehow been broken due to complications with a sprained ankle.

"There has to be something that we can do to protect these fellows". Professor Daudy remarked "These HEROES bring such joy to the common people, and to have a day end like this is so... Regrettable."

It's just the way they're built" offered Professor Semitenece, "I don't mean to be racist, but it's a known fact that for all their agility - elves have an Achilles zone, a weak spot if you will, located somewhere between the instep and the forehead."

"Well, something has to be done, no-one like to watch someone murdered on a blood bowl field. It's just not family entertainment". Daudy added.

"There was that red-headed chap last month" Doctor DustBunny interjected, not one to mince words.

Daudy countered "Yes but that hardly counts, he was a referee. My point is that we should support these HEROES follows, since they formed at the start of the season interest has piqued and the game has been better for it."

"But something is missing, they're just not living up to their potential. We've had week after week of lesion, laceration and amputation, punctuated by the occasional excellence in scoring. It should be the other way around." DustBunny sceptically added, polishing his monocle.

"Undoubtedly." Daudy agreed "They seem to be mortally challenged. They're loved by the people, but they should be idolised. Ballads should be written. Songs should be sung. HEROES should be immortalised"

"But they'll hardly amount to anything if the go around dying all day. You can't argue with those facts" Semitence said reaching for his top hat. The game today was approaching an end

DustBunny thought hard, Daudy's wisdom providing the inspiration for a deeper thought on the matter. "I feel there's something that we could be doing, should be doing. What is it that HEROES need to be great? Methinks you're right, something else needs to be present in the SWL."

"If only there was a way to gain information on how the inner workings of how a blood bowl players body functions. If someone could collate the information, and conduct a study, for academic purposes of course." Semitence mused.

"Such research would need to be considerable and exhaustive. A cursory look would not suffice; we'd probably need to form some sort of official institute." DustBunny concluded.

Brows were furrowed. Glances were exchanged. Long moustaches were twirled in deep thought. The silence was deafening until a voice came from the rear of the clubhouse

"Noble scholars, we have the technology! Such a virtuous undertaking has to be done, and if it falls to us to give the HEROES what they need to be great, than that is a burden we must carry. No-one is better suited than us, we've taken the last 2 Trials of Blood and between us we've only lost 1 game this season" Doctor Chavo added.

In that moment a purpose was born and glasses were raised to an illustrious honourable cause.

And then the crunch was heard by all.

Eyes turned back to the game as the referee lay motionless on the pitch.

And they laughed and laughed and laughed...

Season 69

Season 67

Season 66

2516 BobOrc Cup

Season 65

Season 64

Season 63

Season 62

Season 61
Jose Rodriguez Retired due to AG Bust Game 4
Felicia Tigre Killed Game 4 with Apoth assistance returned for more examination.
Andromache from Round 2 Match
Deinomache III from Round 2 Match

Season 41

Season 40


Cost of Playing Ball

Spiraling Expenses

1,040k
Season 40: 00k
Season 41: 20k
Season 61: 60k
Season 62: 80k
Season 63: 180k
Season 64: 130k
Season 65: 180k
Bob Orc Cup**: 30k
Season 66: 150k
Season 67: 210k
Butchers Bill

TBC
Season 40: 00k
Season 41: 00k
Season 61: 00k
Season 62: 00k
Season 63: 00k
Season 64: 00k
Season 65: 00k
Bob Orc Cup**: 00k
Season 66: 00k
Season 67: 00k

SYMPHONY of DESTRUCTION

Circa 2511 - Joined SWL Season 40 with the influx of new blood









We Fink We're Orks Conference - Season 40

Tavern Talk

Results: 2/3/2
Position: 4th

Coach's Thoughts: Outmuscled the Bash but were run rings around by the Agile teams in their first season.

AWARDS:

Pandemonium - Highest number of blocks(66)

Season Scuttlebutt

Chavo
Asguard Conf (Sting excluded) {..ranking..}
1. All Sorts


Angry Asgardians Conference - Season 41

Tavern Talk

Results: 2/2/3
Position: 4th

Coach's Thoughts: They came back against the speedy teams but were out-muscled and beaten down by the Bash this season.


CAST ADRIFT - Seasons 42-60

Post Season 41 the C*A*S took an indefinite hiatus while Coach D_Arquebus took a tour the Old World. Returning to his home town he found the slavers had been through and with half the working age population gone he was consigned to the impenetrable darkness of the Salt Mines for the next several years to fill the work quotas.

Having been released for good behaviour many years later he tried to resurrect the growing legend of the Chaos All Sorts into Season 60 of the SWL, but was devastated to find his fans had left and the team had let itself go.

With an uncertain move to Albion beckoning Coach D_Arquebus chose not to consign another team of misfits to the same fate and set sail in search of the fabled Deserted Isles



Fatema the Camel Regional - Season 61

Return to Glory... in the basement...

Supplications to the "Powers that Be" were not in vain. Allowed full access back into their spawning grounds and proffered up a tasty sacrificial feast of blood stained offerings to put some meat back on their somewhat anemic looking bones.

The Chaos All Sorts have a long haul to climb back up from the Reggies into some form of contention with the major players of the league, but as always they have fire in the eyes and a healthy appetite to get them there.

Tavern Talk

Results: 4*/2/1
Position: 2nd

*One a forfeit from Prisoners of Pain (Ogres)

Coach's Thoughts: Out-muscled some of the Fresh Meat bash teams but did not quite have the cage security against the Agile teams.


Left Coast Style Conference - Season 62

Tavern Talk

Results: 2/2/3
Position: 5th

Coach's Thoughts:

Season Scuttlebutt

Terrence and Phillip (tussock)
Image Chaos All Sorts. Rating: 188, treasury 200k. Have to expect them to struggle against the premier giants and speed of the others, should start well against the goblins.

Tomay
29/36 Chaos All Sorts - Pact with 3 big guys are mediocre until I’m proven otherwise. Darq is a solid coach and the marauders are almost getting the versatility they need but I can’t get past those 3 Big Guys.


Electrik Boogaloo Conference - Season 63

Tavern Talk

Results: 2/4/1
Position: 4th

Coach's Thoughts:

Round 1: Horrors of Skye

Round 2: Port Macquarie Snowleopards

Round 3: Wonga Wonga Whalekillers

Round 4: Nemesis Demons

Round 5: Daemon Ex Tesserae

Round 6: Blackwater Glee Club

Round 7: Redgum's Rodents

Season Scuttlebutt:

Terrence and Phillip (Tussock):
Chaos All Sorts Rating 205, treasury 300k. Just the fifth season of play for this ancient team, their three giants still growing by the match may one day threaten the best of them.

Semitence:
The Chaos All Sorts have a delightful smattering of skills but will be heavily reliant on the unreliable big guys. If D_Arquebus can survive *that turn* each game, should continue to be able to build on a solid regional performance...

..Spoonerific: I think it'll be a pact team [C*A*S or Demons]. Toss a coin.

Tomay:
20: Chaos All Sorts (+9)



Dead Rat Walking Conference - Season 64

Tavern Talk

Results: 1/2/4
Position: 6th

Coach's Thoughts: Back to the drawing board :P


Good, Bad, Furry Conference - Season 65

Tavern Talk

Result: 2/4/1
Place: 4th

Season Scuttlebutt

Tomay:
25. Chaos All Sorts [-3]: Consistently ok.

Terrence and Phillip (Tussock):
Chaos All Sorts Rating 211, 300k banked. 6th season and starting to show their age, they'll be looking to develop their stars and get the whole pact back together, not to mention promotion if the big boys keep their heads.

Coach's Thoughts
Round 1: SWL Fun Police
One of the feared enforcers and founders of V*I*L*L*I*A*N*S, this game may make or break the season for the C*A*S out of the gates. Will the season be one to aim for Prem or just one to rebuild the team... cause against these Bad Boys even a win can lose you your team...

Round 2: Hostile Kiddies IV
A victory against the Hostile Kiddies in their return to SWL in Reggies saw a victory but at the cost of many a bruise and battering amongst the C*A*S. Coming off the back of the Fun Police this may well be the nail in the coffin of the C*A*S season hopes... echoes of Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire ringing in his ears, will D_Arquebus' dark horses be able to win this rematch?

Round 3: Macabre Morticians
Young team, but Coaches Tribalsinner and D_Arquebus have tangled many a time in the tournament circuit and in SLOBB. Tribal tends to get the advantage in laying a beat down on D_Arquebus' teams and sometimes following up with the attritional win. Coming off the back of two bruising games first up the All Sorts may be in all sorts.... of trouble with this match up.

Round 4: Daemon Ex Tesserae
Elves that flew too close to the Sun too soon? The last time these two met the C*A*S turned it on for an powerful display winning 3-0 and taking a CAS count in their favour for a change. 3 games of grind remains to be seen if there is anything left to defend against the talents Bob and his High Flying.. men?

Round 5: Colour of Money
Only one match before in Colours previous trip to the Conferences. An anything but conclusive match saw a victory to the C*A*S but honors about equal on beat down. Coming after the potential recovery match vs the Daemons and a tough first 4 games, the goblins have to be asking... will C*A*S have anything to play for except their namesake...?

Round 6: Southern Warpstone Scavengers
This fellow For-lorn team is starting to make a name For-itself... if only for their die hard optimism. But they get to play with the big boys now... the C*A*S have been matching themselves against these monsters for some time now and will plan to make this match up a resounding exclamation point of dieing hard for these rookies first time in the Conferences.

Round 7: Fatality101
The C*A*S have a decidedly avg match history against Chaos Dwarf sides... but these guys have a ways to go before they build the Bullocks the Colliders carrying about in their back pocket. The main up side for C*A*S is that these guys will also have to go through the meat tenderizer that is this division and particularly the Fun Police 2 games earlier. May be mopping up the pieces.



BOBOrc Cup - 2516

Tavern Talk

0/0/1 and Out

Lost Pandemonium, Dark Lore, and Discord lost a step.

Coaches Thoughts: Out muscled and out CASed if not out positioned by another brute Rock team. Consistently poor footwork, evasion, and ball handling helped to end the dream.



Black Crowes Conference - Season 66

Tavern Talk

Results: 4/2/1
Position: 3rd

Coaches Thoughts: ROCKs suck :P
Paper needs careful tearing to avoid paper cuts :O
Scissors smash good >:)
Don't grip Dynamite too tight or you'll lose your hand... :P


Southside Stone Smashers Conference LXVII

Tavern Talk

Results: 2/1/4
Position: 7th :(

Coaches Thoughts: Tumbling down down to Reggies...

1 - Domestic Blitz - Floundering Loss
2 - Port Macquarie Snowleopards - Wipe Out Win
3 - Griffon Gate Sentinels - Monstered them for DE Fail
4 - Steaked - Hypnotised....
5 - Office Rats - Slipped through the fingers
6 - Freezy Trees - Arm Wrestin Win
7 - Madness Mountain Misery - MIstakes were made



Away to the Old World S68-BobOrc 2517

Tavern Talk S68
Tavern Talk BobOrc Cup 2517

Results: N/A
Position: N/A

Coaches Thoughts:Guinness is GUD! :D



Night Patrol Regional (69)

Tavern Talk

Results: 5/2/0
Position: 1st Place


Coaches Thoughts:XXX

Regional:
TDs (13): Chaos All Sorts
Cas (28): Chaos All Sorts
SPP (94): Chaos All Sorts
Rushing yards (258): Chaos All Sorts
Blocks/Cas (10.5): Chaos All Sorts
Pass/Cp (2.3): Chaos All Sorts

The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 spp

The SWL Season LXIX Awards
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 10 cas
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 4.3 block/cas
Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 SPP

LXIX SWL All Star
Bedlam

LXIX Rising-Stars
Bedlam
Caterwaul




Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
Progression: Standard
#NamePositionMaStAgAvSkillsInjGCpTdItCsvpSpCostOp
1Cowbell ClankinMinotaur5528Loner, Frenzy, Horns, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Wild Animal 2000102150k (150+0k) 
2 BedlamOgre5539Loner, Bone-head, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Block, +AG, Claw, Stand Firm 6901032592140k (140+140k) 
3 MuddleTroll4519Loner, Always Hungry, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Grab, Stand Firm, Juggernaut 7300025470110k (110+80k) 
4Gibbering KaosRenegade Dark Elf Lineman6348Animosity, Block, Horns 20050012070k (70+40k) 
5 CaterwaulRenegade Skaven Lineman7337Animosity, Block, Extra Arms, Two Heads, Tackle 291110535950k (50+80k) 
6CheekyRenegade Goblin6247Animosity, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +AG, Sure Feet 23050012040k (40+60k) 
7TumultuousRenegade Human Lineman6338  600000050k (50+0k) 
8 TurmoilRenegade Human Lineman4337Block, Mighty Blow, Claw, Juggernaut, Guard-ma, -ma, -ma, -av6810135710850k (50+100k) 
9DiscordantRenegade Human Lineman6338  100000050k (50+0k) 
10Consumptive CressendoRenegade Human Lineman6338  600001550k (50+0k) 
11 DisorderRenegade Human Lineman7338Sure Hands, +MA, Block, Extra Arms, Two Heads 7252906412450k (50+110k) 
12MonsterousRenegade Human Lineman6348Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Horns, +AG 470501978850k (50+120k) 
13Sombre SacrificeRenegade Human Lineman6338  1100001550k (50+0k) 
14SoohSRenegade Human Lineman6338Guard, Wrestle 25010221750k (50+40k) 
15CantankerousRenegade Human Lineman6337Dirty Player, Wrestle, Guardn, -av43100063150k (50+60k) 
16DishamoniousRenegade Human Lineman6338  100000050k (50+0k) 
16 players  
Coach:D_Arquebus Re-Rolls (140k):4  
Race:Chaos Renegades Fan Factor:10  
Team Value:2360k Assistant Coaches:2  
Treasury:140000 Cheerleaders:2  
Tournament Weight:2360k Apothecary:Yes  

Games Played:73 (27/25/21) |TD Diff:6 (101 - 95) |Cas Diff:37 (117/73/24 - 108/52/17)
Last Opponent: Mexican Standoff