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JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 30, 2019 - 23:40 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

Sloss-ti looks out of the window of his tower, gazing absentmindedly at the panoramic vista that spreads out below him. He might be a 3000-year-old Great Slann Necromancer, but he can still appreciate the glorious wonders of nature. The light of a new dawn is slowly breaking across the vast jungle valley. Slowly, the shadows roll back to reveal crumbling temples, gradually being engulfed by the jungle; clearings that hint at thinly-scattered Pygmy settlements; and a wide, blue river, snaking its way through the valley center.

He turns his attention back to the kitchen table, where his breakfast awaits him - a bowl of fly flakes with milk. He likes to start the day off simply. He dips his silver spoon into the bowl and takes a mouthful of the flakes, munching on them as he turns back to the window vista. As he listens to the invigorating sound of pterodactyls squawking, he realizes something is not right. Something tastes a little funny about these fly flakes. In fact, there seems to be a quite unmistakable taste of ...
urine?

Sloss-ti spits out the flakes and turns back to the table. Only now, he notices a large humanoid figure upon the table, standing over the bowl. He looks up just as the figure is re-strapping the waist cord of his britches. He is wearing a full set of bamboo armour, as well as a helmet and a face mask. Sloss-ti knows that gaudily-painted grin all too well.

"Hanzo?!" says Sloss-ti in surprise. He must have the agility of a ninja to be able to slip in without being heard like that.

The standing figure doesn't say anything. He just nods slowly, with his hands on his hips, clearly looking pleased with himself. Despite being completely obscured by the mask, Sloss-ti can sense the grin spreading across his face.

"Did you just ...
piss ... in my fly flakes?"

Hanzo nods again. Now Sloss-ti can hear him chortling behind the mask. It seems he can barely contain his amusement.

"Hang on ..." the great green one suddenly realizes something. "You guys didn't win Secret League Americas
again, did you? It can't be ..."

Hanzo is now laughing out loud behind his mask.

"For the love of Nuffle, am I never going to rid myself of these god-forsaken noodles?"

Sloss-ti sounds exasperated. Hanzo is now laughing so hysterically that he loses balance and falls off the table onto the floor. However, he barely notices the fall and just rolls around on the floor, clutching his sides and laughing uncontrollably. Sloss-ti throws the spoon back in to the tainted bowl of his breakfast.

"Goddamn." He says, as he buries his head in his green, webbed hands.

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 30, 2019 - 23:40 Reply with quote Back to top

Yes, folks, you heard it right. Secret League Americas, Season 6, is now concluded and it was won by none other than the usual suspects ...:

MrNomad's Northern Nippon team, SL Shogun!

With this victory, Emperor Nomad claims the Crown of the New World for a fourth time - they've now won 4 out of the last 5 seasons! That truly is a staggering achievement and MrNomad must be congratulated. But, the big question is, can they do it again? Will they make it 5?

The Slann Necromancer, Sloss-ti, is determined to bring this run to an end. But ... who will be the challenger? Who will find hope in the depths of despair? Who will bring light to the darkness? Who will save Lustria from the clutches of Nipponese rule?

Maybe it will be you! Sloss-ti needs you!

With that, I declare that Season 7 of Secret League Americas is now officially open for business!

SLA is a round robin league that runs on a weekly schedule. It's open to any coaches who will be available to play in most American timezone evenings (about 00:00 - 07:00 bbtime). The divisional structure tends to be flexible, depending on how many teams we have. Last season, we had three divisions: two Lower TV (East and West) and one Upper - 24 teams in total. We will make space for any and all teams that apply. That's right! There is no upper limit to how many teams can play in SLA! Smile

Following the round-robin phase, SLA typically concludes with a final knockout playoff tournament to determine the overall league winner. Last season, the top 4 from the Upper Division and the top 2 from each of the Lower Divisions made it to the final.

And (as if that wasn't enough), we also have a plethora of awesome player prizes and lost treasures that can be won, for those that dare to brave the hazards of the Lustrian jungle (check out the booty tab on the league group page).

How to apply:

Established SLA coaches from last season: please confirm by posting in this thread if you are in for Season 7; which team you are going to be playing, and which coast you prefer.

For new coaches that want to join SLA: please post here, stating which team you intend to play. Note that only 1 team of each race is allowed in SLA (you can see which teams are already taken on the league's 'teams' page). You will most likely be starting off in a Lower Tier division, so you won't have to face the high-TV teams right away. (You can find more information on the SLA group page, by clicking on the banner at the top of this post).

We are going to aim to kick off Season 7 hopefully within the next week or so (basically once we have enough teams).

Sloss-ti says: apply now! Don't miss out on a ribbiting experience! Very Happy

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz


Last edited by JellyBelly on Jan 31, 2019 - 00:03; edited 1 time in total
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 30, 2019 - 23:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Here are the teams that we have lined up so far for Season 7, ranked by TW (teams that are confirmed are in bold):

MrNomad - Northern Nippon - East - 2470
pafootball22 - Engineers - East - 2350
Sigmar1 - Daemons of Slaanesh - West - 2240
Tzalaran - Border Princes - either - 1960
Lorebass - Skink - ??? - 1920
dashergeaux - Kurnous - West - 1810
captainmalkor - Sisters of Sigmar - East(West) - 1780
Kaze - Sea Elf - East - 1750
JellyBelly - Clan Moulder - East - 1740
pdarbs - Rasetra - either - 1730
Fool - Avelorn - West - 1680
Kzarik - Clan Eshin - East - 1650
Salad_Bar - Clan Mors - either - 1520
GotrekSlayer - Nippon - ?? - 1440
Roto - Clan Pestilens - East - 1430
MonkeyMan576 - Witch Elf - West - 1420
Glowmar - Khainite Assassins - West - 1220

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz


Last edited by JellyBelly on Feb 06, 2019 - 12:25; edited 6 times in total
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 00:05 Reply with quote Back to top

I'll be bringing my Clan Moulder back again this season. Hopefully, to cause some damage in the Upper Tier and take a bite at Hanzo Wink

(East Coast)

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
pafootball22



Joined: Feb 14, 2014

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 02:12 Reply with quote Back to top

back again engineers
MrNomad



Joined: Mar 24, 2007

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 04:39 Reply with quote Back to top

Shogun shall of course return.
Kzarik



Joined: Sep 25, 2016

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 06:17 Reply with quote Back to top

Shadow Horde continues.
pdarbs



Joined: Aug 11, 2017

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 07:38 Reply with quote Back to top

rubble rousers will return
Tzalaran



Joined: Mar 01, 2018

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 13:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Nomads will return.
razmus



Joined: Jun 23, 2017

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 16:05 Reply with quote Back to top

⚰️Dead Men Walking⚰️ will sit out a season.
Sigmar1



Joined: Aug 13, 2008

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 17:18 Reply with quote Back to top

Agony will be back. Hopefully for some Ecstasy next season.

_________________
Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!
captainmalkor



Joined: Sep 01, 2008

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2019 - 22:38 Reply with quote Back to top

There is still more Purging to be done.
Still prefer east but will play west if needed.
Fool



Joined: Sep 16, 2004

Post   Posted: Feb 01, 2019 - 05:35 Reply with quote Back to top

Avelorn Acolytes returning. West Coast please.
MonkeyMan576



Joined: Jul 02, 2008

Post   Posted: Feb 02, 2019 - 02:21 Reply with quote Back to top

confirm season 7
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Feb 02, 2019 - 02:56 Reply with quote Back to top

Thanks to everyone who has confirmed so far. Right now, we've got 19 teams on the list for season 7, although quite a few are still yet to confirm.

I've posted the list of applied teams on the first page of this thread. Can everyone check to make sure I have all the right info, regarding teams and preferred coast?

Thanks Smile

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
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