So, a little over two weeks ago, I put out a blog to apologize to you all for the piss poor mood I'm going to be in for the foreseeable future. If you read that one, then you know that my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Today, after cornering him, I finally got him to admit just how bad it is. He starts chemo next Monday, but in the meantime, doctors are only giving him 6 months to live. He has stage 5 cancer, and it's spread from his lungs to his skeletal structure, and is following the exact path of the lung cancer that killed his mother. For any of you out there who smoke tobacco, you are playing Russian Roulette with your life, and I encourage you to quit ASAP. My dad had to have surgery to remove a 2.5 inch clump from his lungs (7.62 centimeters) as well as placing powder in them to help dry up the fluid buildup. He will be on an oxygen tank for the rest of his life, which is likely to end before he reaches his 66th birthday.

But this isn't about his impending demise, or the pain of watching a parent go through this.

Instead, I'm posting this as a thank you to my dad. Even facing his death, my dad (as misguided as he was in his thought process) wanted to shield me from the pain of knowing just how bad things are. Rather than telling me he has stage 5 lung cancer and probably won't be treatable, he instead side-stepped the issue. He used vague terms, talked about the treatment options the doctors presented, and more or less went out of his way to attempt to let me believe that he had a chance to get through this, like it was a mild flu or something.

I had to back him into a corner, and remind him that I'm not a 5-year-old girl anymore. I've talked to his wife, and she's been wonderful through this, but she's also been honest, because unlike my dad, she has no reason to want to protect me from the truth, a fact of which I'm quite grateful for. So, I've had time to process the facts, and prepare for the truth.


So, I'm writing this blog as a thank you to all the good parents out there. This is to all the parents who face death, each and every day, yet go out of their way to put on a brave front, and give their children hope. I may not like that my dad was trying to shield me from the truth, especially when that truth is that I probably won't have a father much longer, but I can understand and appreciate why he would do that.

And, even when I finally pushed my dad into a corner, and was able to get the truth out of him, he tried to skim past it, and instead reassure me of how proud he is of me, in spite of all the mistakes I've made in my life. So again, thanks dad, for doing all you can to look out for my wellbeing. I'm going to miss you when you're gone, but you've made me a strong enough person to face a future without you. You've done your job as a parent as best as you could, and you've put me in a place where I can live once you're gone. For that, I'm truly grateful. Your actions, even now, in trying to shield me from reality, only show me that you care, and that I am, and always have been your greatest concern. Don't worry dad, I can go on. It will be hard, it's going to hurt, but you've made me into someone who can get past this, and thrive.