Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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 Posted:
May 04, 2023 - 14:55 |
 
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With week 12 in full swing, we take a look at the playoff race - not the hard unalterable facts, but rather.. the wishes, the dreams, the forlorn Hope's!
The race for the bye:
NFC
Three teams have a shot at this:
Szeattle, 76 points
ChicagOrkz, 69 points
Mean Fae, 62 points
- All 3 have 2 games left
Mean Fae needs to win both games, Szeattle to lose both games, and then have the tiebreakers. Not impossible, but a daunting task.
ChicagOrkz needs to win 1 game, Szeattle to lose 1 game, and then do better than Szeattle in the last game. Or, win 2 games, and have Szeattle win 0 games.
Anything else, Szeattle has the bye.
AFC
Omg what are you guys DOING in AFC?? There are 46 teams still able to win the bye!
Orklapolis, 55 points, 3 games left
Houston, 54 points, 3 games left
Tijuana, 53 points, 2 games left
No-Skincinnati, 51 points, 2 games left
Cleaved Land, 47 points, 3 games left
There are so many permutations for this, not even I am going to list them all out. Also, I'm on a bus and it's annoying to switch tabs. Suffice to say, AFC is fixing for.. who knows what.
If Orkapolis wins all 3, they get the bye.
If they draw 1 and win 2, they get the bye.
If Orkapolis win 2, and lose 1, then:
- if Houston beat Orkopalis, win at least 1 other game, and dont lose their last match, Houston gets the bye
- otherwise, Orkapolis gets the bye
If Orkapolis draw 2 and win 1, then Houston can win if they win 2 and draw Orkapolis.
- otherwise, Orkapolis gets the bye
If Orkapolis draw 1 and win 1
- if Houston wins at least 2, they get the bye (they have tiebreaker over Cleaved Land)
- if Houston wins 1 and gets 2 draws, then:
- - if Cleaved Land wins all 3, Cleaved Land gets the bye
- - if Cleaved doesn't win at least 1, then:
- - - if Tijuana wins 2, Tijuana and Houston use tiebreakers for the bye
- - otherwise Houston gets the bye
- If Houston has at most 1 win and at least 1 loss, then:
- - if Cleaved Land wins all 3, Cleaved Land gets the bye
- - if Cleaved doesn't win at least 1, then:
- - - if Tijuana wins 2, Tijuana gets the bye
- - otherwise Orkapolis gets the bye (they have tiebreaker over No-Skincinnati)
If Orkapolis draw 3
- to be continued... maybe
If Orkapolis win 1 and lose 2
If Orkapolis draw 2 and lose 1
If Orkapolis draw 1 and lose 2
If Orkapolis lose all 3 |
Last edited by Nelphine on May 05, 2023 - 23:39; edited 3 times in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 05, 2023 - 00:46 |
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Next up, divisional titles!
NFC East:
- Still a 3 way race here, although the Kroaks have a not entirely commanding lead
New York Kroaks (41 points)
Witchington Commies (36 points)
Dallas Crowbar (26 points)
NFC North:
- These 2 teams play each other in week 13, so that could be the title decider!
ChicagOrkz Borkz (69 points, only 2 games left)
Mean Fae Quackers (62 points, only 2 games left)
NFC South:
... All four are still in it. This is almost as bad as the AFC!
Atlanta Atrocities (48 points)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (43 points, only 2 games left)
NOLA Powers From Above (38 points)
Khornolina Black Hats (30 points)
NFC West:
- The only division with their title already decided
Szeattle Scimitars (76 points, only 2 games left)
AFC East:
- A 3 way race continues here, and there isn't a clear front runner
Buffalo Chill (40 points, only 2 games left)
New Ziggland Chariots (39 points, only 2 games left)
Brew More Gents (30 points, only 2 games left)
AFC North:
- Despite a third team being within 21 points, these 2 play each other, so no matter the result, one of these 2 get the title
No-Skincinnati Bungles (51 points, only 2 games left)
Cleaved Land Bedlam (47 points)
AFC South:
- 2 teams, almost neck and neck, and they have yet to play! That game could make or break the division
Orkapolis Wargs (55 points)
Houston Treants (54 points)
AFC West:
- 2 teams still in the running, but one of them is a mile ahead and unlikely to falter now
Tijuana Charros (53 points, only 2 games left)
Kansas City Geese (33 points) |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 05, 2023 - 22:51 |
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Finally, in both conferences, there is fierce competition for the number 7 wild card playoff spot.
First, a quick look at the other wild card spots. In NFC, Mean Fae Quackers and Los Angeles Glams are miles ahead of the remaining wild card contenders. In AFC, Cleaved Land Bedlam and Houston Treants are ahead. These 4 teams, or their divisional rivals (ChicagOrkz Borkz, No-Skincinnati Bungles, and Orkapolis Wargs) will probably hold the 5 and 6 wild card spots for each conference.
So, number 7:
NFC
Note: These teams will also include both the NFC East and NFC South division titles.
Atlanta Atrocities (48 points)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (43 points, 2 games left)
New York Kroaks (41 points)
Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (41 points)
NOLA Powers From Above (38 points)
Witchington Commies (36 points)
Outside contenders
Manglesota Lyc'ns (34 points, 2 games left)
Khornolina Black Hats (30 points)
Detroit Riots [NBFL] (30 points)
Dallas Crowbar (26 points)
AFC
Note: These teams will also include the AFC East division title.
Buffalo Chill (40 points, 2 games left)
New Ziggland Chariots (39 points, 2 games left)
Kansas City Geese (33 points)
Jakesonville Jortles (32 points)
Pittsburgh Pirouettes (31 points)
Outside contenders:
Brew More Gents (30 points, 2 games left)
Las Vegas Evaders (29 points)
Floridaman Drunkfinns (19 points)
Denver Brontos (19 points) |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 07, 2023 - 04:49 |
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Week 12. Be within 1 win, or, lose all hope ye who enter here!
NFC
1 (76 VP): Szeattle Scimitars (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 12
2 (69 VP): ChicagOrkz Borkz (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 11
3 (55 VP): Atlanta Atrocities (NFC South)
4 (48 VP): New York Kroaks (NFC East)
5 (62 VP): Mean Fae Quackers (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
6 (54 VP): Los Angeles Glams (NFC West)
7 (45 VP): NOLA Powers From Above (NFC South)
43 VP: Clampa Bay Robotineers (NFC South)
43 VP: Witchington Commies (NFC East)
41 VP: Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (NFC West)
34 VP: Manglesota Lyc'ns (NFC North)
33 VP: Dallas Crowbar (NFC East)
30 VP: Detroit Riots [NBFL] (NFC North)
30 VP: Khornalina Black Hats (NFC South)
16 VP: Illadelph Sunshine (NFC East)
9 VP: Arizona Redbulls (NFC West)
AFC
1 (62 VP): Orkapolis Wargs (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
2 (54 VP): Cleaved Land Bedlam (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
3 (53 VP): Tijuana Charros (AFC West)
4 (40 VP): Buffalo Chill (AFC East)
5 (54 VP): Houston Treants (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
6 (51 VP): No-Skincinnati Bungles (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
7 (40 VP): Kansas City Geese (AFC West)
39 VP: New Ziggland Chariots (AFC East)
36 VP: Las Vegas Evaders (AFC West)
32 VP: Jakesonville Jortles (AFC South)
31 VP: Pittsburgh Pirouettes (AFC North)
30 VP: Brew More Gents (AFC East)
21 VP: Titannesse Kraken's (AFC South)
20 VP: Baltimore Nevermore (AFC North)
19 VP: Denver Brontos (AFC West)
19 VP: Floridaman Drunkfinns (AFC East) |
Last edited by Nelphine on May 14, 2023 - 06:27; edited 1 time in total |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
May 12, 2023 - 08:06 |
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NBFL Season XXX Week 11
Here at DotW headquarters we feel it is our job to, um, *mumbling* monetize our brand. And in the spirit of this bold new direction, we are going to be innovating with lots of the features that tweenz and teenz love: listicles, viral whatchamacallits, soap bucket challenges, reader polls, and awards! This week we are handing out a brand new award that we like to call the Andre Tippett Memorial Mutilated Team Award (ATMMTA). To win this prestigious hunk of iron you need to show a real team-wide commitment to death. Like the lemmings that Disney scared into running over a cliff back in the 50s, thus forever tainting our collective understanding of these cute little fellas and inspiring one of the best computer games of the 90s, the entire corps needs to put in the work of self-immolation. This week’s inaugural award goes to knine and the Khornolina Black Hats, who sent 3 players to their eternal slumber in week 11, including KC D’Brickshaw, an absolute unit and the powerhouse of the team. Once customs clears this thing I’m 72% sure you’ll find it waiting on your doorstep in 6-31 months.
Ooooooh ad time! What advertising poetry will we be graced with this time? This week’s DotW is brought to you by Bloodweiser: the Baron of Beers.
Uh… all it says is “It’s beer. You want beer. So drink this beer.”
Short and to the point, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thirsty now. Damn ads, you’ve worked your black magic on me yet again!
Dead of the Week
KC D'Brickashaw: Khornolina bloodspawn; Break Tackle, Block, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm
GRM Reaper: Khornolina bloodseeker; Block
Hubert Cuthroy [O]: Khornolina khorngor; Dodge, Wrestle, Leap, Strip Ball
Jeremy Ruckert [BRO]: New York linefrog; Block, Guard
Jonathan Hankins: Dallas troll slayer; Guard, Stand Firm
Adrian Claymore: Denver saurus; Block, Dodge, Guard, Tackle, Diving Tackle
Alejandro Gregor: Denver skink; Diving Tackle
Death of the Week: Back in the saddle again / riding down that lonesome road / to the… uh… house I love so muuuuuch / the MORGUE (heavy metal riffing). Back in top form, Denver sent another saurus to sleep with the fishes this week. A blodging, diving tackling, guarding sumbitch, Adrian Claymore was one of the few surviving saurii left on a Denver team that has been hacked down into a nub of its former self over the last two seasons. Will Denver soldier on as the final refuge for Lizardmen in a ruleset that is quite unkind to them? Only time (and end of season PMs) will tell!
Maimed of the Week
Rooney “Save Our Last Goodbye” Dork: ChicagOrkz bubby (-AV); Block, Guard, Stand Firm
Jeffro the Dancing Goon: Mean Fae lineman (-PA); no skills
Thwunk: Clampa Bay halfling (-AV); no skills
Edward Hotsnake: Dallas longbeard (-ST); Guard
Cooper Rush: Dallas longbeard (-MA); Guard, Mighty Blow
Champ Bailey III: Witchington blitzer (-AV); Jump Up
Dave Brown [DUKE]: Jakesonville gutter runner (-MA): +ST, Block, Side Step, Fend, Tackle, Diving Tackle
Dawson Poscidion [TTRR]: Baltimore bloodseeker (-AG); Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
Linarit Ghulen: Las Vegas lineman (-ST); no skills
Dick LeBeau: Buffalo lineman (-AG); no skills
Davon Godchaux: New Zig dwarf blocker (-AV); Juggernaut
Total NI this week: 18
Total MNG this week: 17 |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 14, 2023 - 05:09 |
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Week 13 is here, and the race for the playoffs is getting extremely tight!
NFC
1 (79 VP): Szeattle Scimitars (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 12
2 (76 VP): ChicagOrkz Borkz (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 13
3 (52 VP): NOLA Powers From Above (NFC South)
4 (51 VP): New York Kroaks (NFC East)
5 (62 VP): Mean Fae Quackers (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
6 (61 VP): Los Angeles Glams (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 13
7 (50 VP): Clampa Bay Robotineers (NFC South)
46 VP: Witchington Commies (NFC East)
The bye for the NFC will go to Szeattle (against Los Angeles) if ChicagOrkz (against Detroit) does the same or worse; if ChicagOrkz does better, it will go to ChicagOrkz. (If Szeattle loses and ChicagOrkz draw, the conference record will be tied at 7-2-1, and ChicagOrkz will have a 5-1-0 division record vs Szeattle with 4-1-1)
If Atlanta (against NOLA and Manglesota) win either match or draw NOLA or NOLA draw Clampa Bay, Atlanta get the South division title. If they lose both or draw against Manglesota, and NOLA (against Clampa Bay and Atlanta) win both, NOLA gets the South division title. If Atlanta loses both, and Clampa Bay (against NOLA) win, Clampa Bay gets the South division title.
If Kroaks (against Trans-Fat Crisco) win, they get the East division title. If Kroaks tie or lose, and Witchington (against Dallas and Arizona) win both, or if Kroaks lose and Witchington ties one and wins one, Witchington gets the East division title
For Witchington (against Arizona) to make the playoffs, they need to win, and Clampa (against NOLA) to not win - Witchington would have the tiebreaker 5-3-2 if Clampa draws to 4-5-2. But if NOLA wins and draws, or wins both, then NOLA still beats Witchington.
48 VP: Atlanta Atrocities (NFC South)
41 VP: Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (NFC West)
36 VP: Dallas Crowbar (NFC East)
34 VP: Manglesota Lyc'ns (NFC North)
33 VP: Detroit Riots [NBFL] (NFC North)
33 VP: Khornalina Black Hats (NFC South)
19 VP: Illadelph Sunshine (NFC East)
12 VP: Arizona Redbulls (NFC West)
AFC
1 (62 VP): Orkapolis Wargs (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
2 (61 VP): Cleaved Land Bedlam (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12, secured division title week 13
3 (60 VP): Tijuana Charros (AFC West), secured playoff spot week 13, secured division title week 13
4 (47 VP): Buffalo Chill (AFC East)
5 (61 VP): Houston Treants (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
6 (51 VP): No-Skincinnati Bungles (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
7 (46 VP): New Ziggland Chariots (AFC East)
40 VP: Kansas City Geese (AFC West)
The bye for the AFC goes to Orkapolis if they win either against Titannesse or against Baltimore. If Orkapolis ties both games, and Cleaved Land (against No-Skincinnati) wins, Cleaved Land will have the tiebreaker (6-2-2 vs 4-4-2) and will get the bye.
Whichever of Buffalo or New Ziggland does better in their match wins the East division title; if they have the same result, Buffalo wins the division.
If KC wins and Buffalo loses, KC has the tiebreaker over Buffalo (conference record would be : 4-4-2 for KC and 3-3-4 for Buffalo).
So for KC to get in, they need to win (against Tijuana), and either Buffalo (against Denver) or New Ziggland (against Las Vegas) to lose.
36 VP: Las Vegas Evaders (AFC West)
34 VP: Pittsburgh Pirouettes (AFC North)
33 VP: Brew More Gents (AFC East)
32 VP: Jakesonville Jortles (AFC South)
28 VP: Titannesse Kraken's (AFC South)
23 VP: Baltimore Nevermore (AFC North)
22 VP: Denver Brontos (AFC West)
19 VP: Floridaman Drunkfinns (AFC East) |
Last edited by Nelphine on May 19, 2023 - 16:55; edited 1 time in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 18, 2023 - 00:48 |
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As week 14 starts, we look at what the NFC playoffs will be!
NFC
--------------------------------------------------------
1. The bye, West Division Title
86 VP, 11 wins, 3 draws, 0 losses:
Szeattle Scimitars
(Dark Elf - 2190TV)
Nelphine
--------------------------------------------------------
2. North Division Title
83 VP, 11 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss
ChicagOrkz Borkz
(Orc - 2570TV)
asteflix
vs
7.
53 VP, 5 wins, 6 draws, 3 losses:
Witchington Commies
(Dark Elf - 2080TV)
Garcangel
--------------------------------------------------------
3. South Division Title
59 VP, 8 wins, 1 draw, 5 losses
NOLA Powers From Above
(Elven Union - 2390TV)
BillBrasky
vs
6.
61 VP, 7 wins, 4 draws, 3 losses
Los Angeles Glams
(High Elf - 1780TV)
Stimme
--------------------------------------------------------
4. East Division Title
58 VP, 7 wins, 3 draws, 4 losses
New York Kroaks
(Slann - 2300TV)
ex-convict
vs
5.
69 VP, 9 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses
Mean Fae Quackers
(High Elf - 2070TV)
happygrue
-------------------------------------------------------- |
Last edited by Nelphine on May 24, 2023 - 05:01; edited 7 times in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 19, 2023 - 17:23 |
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And now for the AFC!
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The bye.. is complicated and messy. 4 teams are within 2 points of each other. Win, make sure your competition doesn't win. Orkapolis, Houston, Tijuana, and Cleaved Land all have a shot - if any of them do better than all 3 of the others, that one gets the bye. On an equal result, Orkapolis has it over any of the others; Houston and Cleaved Land have more points than Tijuana; Houston has the head to head over Cleaved Land. These 4 teams will get #1, #2, #3, and #5, however it shakes out.
With only 1 point less, if Houston does better than Orkapolis, Houston gets the division, and Orkapolis gets #5. If they get the same result, or Orkapolis does better, Orkapolis gets the division, and Houston gets #5.
With one game left we have 3 possibilities:
If Houston wins, they get the division and the bye. Then Tijuana gets #2, Cleaved #3, and Orkapolis #5.
If Houston draws, they get the division. Tijuana gets the bye, Houston gets #2, Cleaved #3, and Orkapolis #5.
If Houston loses, Orkapolis gets the division. Tijuana gets the bye, Cleaved Land gets #2, Orkapolis #3, and Houston gets #5.
--------------------------------------------------------
1. The bye, South Division Title
68 VP, 8 wins, 4 draws, 2 losses
Houston Treants
(Wood Elf - 2040TV)
Bazakastine
--------------------------------------------------------
2. West Division Title
67 VP, 7 wins, 6 draws, 1 loss
Tijuana Charros
(Nurgle - 2300TV)
Amon242
vs
7.
49 VP, 4 wins, 7 draws, 3 losses
New Ziggland Chariots
(Chaos Dwarf - 1420TV)
Wolvezzz
--------------------------------------------------------
3. North Division Title
64 VP, 7 wins, 5 draws, 2 losses
Cleaved Land Bedlam
(Chaos Chosen - 2550TV)
Captainmalkor
vs
6.
54 VP, 6 wins, 4 draws, 4 losses
No-Skincinnati Bungles
(Tomb Kings - 2350TV)
Dutchlife
--------------------------------------------------------
4. East Division Title
54 VP, 6 wins, 4 draws, 4 losses
Buffalo Chill
(Dark Elf - 2380TV)
Jeffro
vs
5.
62 VP, 8 wins, 2 draws, 4 losses
Orkapolis Wargs
(Orc - 2260TV)
Xelron
-------------------------------------------------------- |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
May 26, 2023 - 04:10 |
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NBFL Ex-con Playoff Preview: Season 30
The Tournament of Tournaments is here once again! Fourteen teams have claimed their spot and will now compete to win the Super Bowl title! Can the undefeated Scimitars keep up their blessed run? Will the two Orc teams continue to bomb their way to victory? And will anyone remember that the defending champion Bedlam are still lurking??
NFC Conference
1. Szeattle Scimitars // 11-3-0, 86 pts // Dark Elf // Nelphine // West
After taking a rookie Dark Elf team to the NFC Championship last season, coach Nelphine followed things up by emerging through this campaign unbeaten and claimed the top seed in the process. Led by matchup nightmare Seth B [BALL], who is supported by an odd but diverse cadre of players, the Scimitars will attempt to keep that 'zero' at the end of the record for at least three more games.
2. ChicagOrkz Borkz // 11-2-1, 83 // Ork // Asteflix // North
In almost any other season, 83 points would give you the bye in your conference, but the Borkz will have to settle for the 2nd seed and an extra game. But when you have a dynamite roster with nine Guard, seven Mighty Blow, and an assortment of other tools and key Stat upgrades, what's one extra opponent?
3. NOLA Powers From Above // 8-1-5, 59 // Pro Elf // BillBrasky // South
Coach Brasky seems to have found his groove again after trudging through middling seasons with Chaos Pact, and has been elfing people left and right since halfway through last season. With somewhat of a boom-or-bust playstyle (only one tie), NOLA has proven to be a problem when they can force the opposition to put the ball on the ground.
4. New York Kroaks // 7-3-4, 58 // Slann // ex-convict // East
The Kroaks had come back down to earth hard after a blessed run to the top NFC seed last season, sitting at 1-1-4 heading into a Week 7 match against division rival Dallas. But star Blitzer Benjas Darrama [UNAM] killed acclaimed Dwarf Runner Chad Henne [Jax], and the apparent blood sacrifice pleased the Old Ones, because the Frogs have not lost since.
5. Mean Fae Quackers // 9-2-3, 69 nice // High Elf // happygrue // North
Making the playoffs for a second straight season behind a dynamic (?) backwards-passing game, the Quackers are ready to ruffle some feathers this time around. Giving coach Grue some inducements seems like a bad idea!
6. Los Angeles Glams // 7-4-3, 61 // High Elf // Stimme // West
The Glams are a perennial playoff contender, combining awesome players and impressive coaching. Similarly to the Quackers, LA will have to take the long road to the title but should be getting inducement help along the way.
7. Witchington Commies // 5-6-3, 53 // Dark Elf // Garcangel // East
The Commies claimed the final playoff spot ("our" spot) in their inaugural season, proving to be feisty as they only lost three games all year. Led by the contributions of "We have Seth B at home", Witchington will have their hands full with their first postseason opponent.
NFC Wildcard Round
(2) ChicagOrkz Borkz vs (7) Witchington Commies
Because that opponent is the mean, green wall known as the Borkz. Being a first year team, the Commies don't have a ton of tools to deal with the well-developed Orcs, so their only path to victory is likely from a fortunate eldril and/or wizard turn where they can steal the ball away.
Prediction: ChicagOrkz 2 - 1 Witchington
Even if the inducements can lead to a scoop-and-score, the Borkz are good enough to essentially win the rest of the turns and thus the game.
-----
(3) NOLA Powers From Above vs (6) Los Angeles Glams
While an Elf battle on paper, this game is actually a clash of styles between one team that wants to get into a chaotic track meet (NOLA) and one that wants a controlled chess match (LA). The Pro Elves are in their element when things are frantic (26 TD for / 19 against / 13 games) while the High Elves prefer a calculated victory (20 TD for / 13 against / 14 games). Whether you win a game 3:2 or 2:1 ultimately matters not, but which team will end up victorious?
Prediction: NOLA 2 : 3 Los Angeles
Unfortunately for coach Brasky, the Glams are certainly capable of winning a shoot-out as well as a more grindy game. Plus, LA's two Mighty Blow Blitzers will probably enjoy this match against Av7 Elves.
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(4) New York Kroaks vs (5) Mean Fae Quackers
The Kroak's second half surge earned them a date with the Quackers in the first round of the playoffs, a team that they tied 1-1 a season ago. But Mean Fae has a Frenzy player and more Guard this time around, plus some assistance from inducements; will it be enough to stop the streaking Frogs?
Prediction: New York 2 - 1 Mean Fae
Something, something, Great Plan?
NFC Divisional Round
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (6) Los Angeles Glams
The two NFC West rivals meet again! Having just played each other in the season finale, the Glams will have to earn a rematch against the Scimitars. But since coach Nelphine moved to Szeattle two seasons ago, he is 3-1-0 against coach Stimme! Can LA hand their rival their first loss, both head-to-head and this season at the same time??
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 Los Angeles (OT)
Though this game will ultimately go into Overtime, nothing has fundamentally changed about this matchup to suggest LA will change their fortune against their Dark Elf rivals!
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(2) ChicagOrkz Borkz vs (4) New York Kroaks
Facing another NFC North team (their third in two seasons), the Kroaks will need an even Greater Plan if they hope to leap out of this game with a victory. The Borkz can diminish the effectiveness of sacker Bob Kuechenberg [Miami] simply by having the illustrious Gibson ''The Night'' Dork [MzST] carry as he usually does!
Prediction: ChicagOrkz 1 - 0 New York
New York would need a Lord Kroak level of wizard to crack open the Orc cage, and they may not even get to have one in the match. Coach Aste and his well-built Green Machine move on!
NFC Championship Game
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (2) ChicagOrkz Borkz
While it isn't fun to predict the chalky title game, Szeattle and ChicagOrkz were far superior to the rest of the conference, each winning at least 11 games. They appear to be on a collision course in what should be an epic game!
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 ChicagOrkz
While we believe that coach Aste has the best team in the NFC, and he doesn't have a natural predator like last season (wildcard vs Dash), trying to go through three straight agility teams that might have wizards will probably catch up with him somewhere. And coach Nelphine is enough of a lucker to where it will probably be in their game!
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AFC Conference
1. Houston Treants // 8-4-2, 68 pts // Wood Elf // Bazakastine // South
The Treants took care of business the last few rounds and ended up with the top AFC seed, and once again look to be loaded. Speed, agility, Stan, and...a dirty player? Watch out for the 'daka' once again.
2. Tijuana Charros // 7-6-1, 67 // Nurgle // Amon242 // West
The Charros are not to be underestimated, winning the tough West division and only dropping a single game all season. In a much more balanced spread of styles than the NFC bracket, Tijuana has the tools to deal with the Bash and the Ball of the AFC. Whether they will have enough to go through three straight rounds after losing a Pestigor late in the season remains to be seen, however.
3. Cleaved Land Bedlam // 7-5-2, 64 // Chaos // captainmalkor // North
The Defending Champs quietly advanced through the regular season, never truly dominating yet also rarely losing either. Still an absurdly large team, TV wise, when healthy, the Bedlam cannot be counted out as long as their core trio of Beasto, Beastly, and Matthews are still around.
4. Buffalo Chill // 6-4-4, 54 // Dark Elf // Jeffro // East
Arguably the strangest team in the league, the Chill give no shits and lend no quarter. Seemingly armed with a legion of Dark Elven-vampires, Buffalo was second in the league in Touchdowns scored (29), yet first in worst Block differential (-20 per game, one of only two giving up more than -12 per game). Thus the question is whether the few blocks they do throw lead to touchdowns, because they are so difficult to keep down.
5. Orkapolis Wargs // 8-2-4, 62 // Orc // Xelron // South
The Wargs have now made the playoffs both seasons in Orkapolis, and were certainly problematic for teams to deal with this year. Led by star Blitzer Dean Colvard [UNCC], these Orcs are ready to improve on just making the wildcard last campaign.
6. No-Skincinnati Bungles // 6-4-4, 54 // Tomb Kings // Dutchlife // North
The Curse of .500 is broken! Or was it sub-.500? Either way, the Bungles finally got over the hump and claimed a playoff spot after years of trying. Now that they are in the big dance, what kind of damage can they do, both literally and figuratively?
7. New Zigguratland Chariots // 4-7-3, 49 // Chaos Dwarf // Wolvezzz // East
The Chariots limped into the tournament despite one broken wheel, a missing driver, a dead horse (or whatever was dragging the chariot), and a decimated roster. Armed with no Bull Centaurs, only five Blockers, and what appears to be the best randoms-only Hobgoblin in history.
AFC Wildcard Round
(2) Tijuana Charros vs (7) New Zigguratland Chariots
Fortunately the Chariots will also be getting a lot of inducement help for this game. Which stars will we see show up? Morg? Glart? Hak? Borak? The Bomber? The possibilities are endless!...probably. Regardless of who and/or what New Ziggy uses, they'll have to get a lot of things to go right to pull off the upset here.
Prediction: Tijuana 2 - 1 New Zigguratland (OT)
And boy, will they get close to doing so. Taking the game to OT, the Chariots take advantage of the relative lack of depth that the Charros bring to the table, letting them compete each drive. However the good players that coach Amon has at his disposal are excellent, and they prove to be the difference in this rock-fight.
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(3) Cleaved Land Bedlam vs (6) No-Skincinnati Bungles
Well now, we get an immediate rematch on the AFC side of the bracket! In Week 14 these two played to a 0-0 tie, beating each other up in the process. Ironically, even though the Bungles took out more important players than they lost, they end up costing themselves valuable inducements in doing so! Still, the missing players were quite good, and losing any more of the three remaining Warriors could lead to relative board control for No-Skincinnati!
Prediction: Cleaved Land 2 - 1 No-Skincinnati (OT)
I was very closing to calling this one the other way, because this looks to truly be a toss-up game. With a wizard in hand, the Bungles are going to give the defending champs absolutely hell in a slug-fest. But when the chips are down, the Chaos have more ways to make a dynamic play and that could very well be the difference.
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(4) Buffalo Chill vs (5) Orkapolis Wargs
While no less fascinating than the previous two matchups, this game feels destined to follow one of two scripts: 'Script A' has the Wargs decimating the ranks of the Chill, playing fundamentally sound, and winning the game as Buffalo rolls an absurd number of dodge dice but can't quite complete long sequences. 'Script B' has the Wargs decimating the ranks of the Chill, but the game breaks down from an organized Orc-grind as the Dark Elves constantly harry and harass in the open field, finding a way to steal the game with just a handful of players left. So which way does this movie go?
Prediction: Buffalo 1 - 2 Orkapolis
Ultimately I would be afraid of a short-kick + Blitz, wizard, or some other game-alerting turn giving Buffalo the chance they need to win the game, but I am not going to bet on it.
AFC Divisional Round
(1) Houston Treants vs (5) Orkapolis Wargs
Yet another clash of division foes, but here we find Houston and Orkapolis needing to break the tie of their season series after splitting the two games. Each somehow managed a 1-0 victory, showing that the margin between the two is likely much smaller than the difference in their seeding would suggest. Who's style will ultimately win out?
Prediction: Houston 1 - 0 Orkapolis
Fittingly the game will finish with the same score as the other two, but the Agility and Movement across the board for Houston makes the difference.
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(2) Tijuana Charros vs (3) Cleaved Land Bedlam
A rematch of last season's brutal wild card battle that was eventually decided by coin toss, the Charros were left to ponder what could have been if they had emerged victorious as they watched the Bedlam go on to win the title. But they can earn a measure of revenge here in the Divisional round, in what promises to be an exciting Part II between these squads!
Prediction: Tijuana 1 - 2 Cleaved Land
This is yet another game that could go either way, but Cleaved Land is a proven playoff veteran squad while Tijuana has yet to get the job done when it matters most. Could that difference in experience by the difference?
AFC Championship Game
(1) Houston Treants vs (3) Cleaved Land Bedlam
These two AFC powers also faced off in last season's playoffs in what appears to be a recurring theme. The difference, this time, could be that while Houston has only had to play one game thanks to getting the Bye, Cleaved Land would have had three games in a row against Tomb Kings, Tomb Kings, and Nurgle. Ouch.
Prediction: Houston 2 - 1 Cleaved Land
Also, you know, Houston won this matchup earlier this season, whilst throwing a paltry 15 blocks!
"Not bad." - Garc, probably.
NBFL Super Bowl 30
The Big Game!
Szeattle Scimitars vs Houston Treants
We've come a long way since the Chaos mirror match Super Bowl from Season 24! Though it must pain people to see both top seeds projected to win their respective conferences, such is the power of having the bye!
Also, these are two outstanding teams and coaches! We cannot assume that either side will get here unscathed, but an Elf battle will be fascinating regardless.
Prediction: Szeattle 3 - 2 Houston
Fine, I admit it: this is the first prediction this Preview that I don't actually believe in. But I also don't want Nelphine to complete an unbeaten season and/or win a title, so I'm using the power of the Ex-con Curse to stop him! Muahaha!
Hope you enjoyed this season's Playoff Preview article! Hopefully you were able to catch the Twitch Broadcast either live or afterwards! |
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Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
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captainmalkor
Joined: Sep 01, 2008
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| Posted:
May 29, 2023 - 04:29 |
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You called the CLE vs. CIN wildcard game perfectly.
Slugfest, OT, won by a dynamic play...only thing off is I denied him a wizard. |
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Bomber and saw now t...
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