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suttbutt



Joined: Mar 16, 2015

Post   Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 04:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Dom Trady quietly pondered the seasonal awards night invitation he held in his hand. He'd been told to dress nicely and prepare a speech incase any of the Hostile Kiddies with less ability to string a sentence together were called up.

So far all he'd managed to think about is whether Weggie, Flay and Wustin could even read in the first place.

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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 06:52
FUMBBL Staff
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The once timid member of the Awards sub sub committee confidently strode onto the stage. Injuries from LIX and LX awards ceremonies were almost unnoticeable. Lessons had been learned on how to pacify a crowd of unruly blood bowl players. Though still not officially sanctioned, the Team Awards committee had again been invited to present at the distinguished Twahnlows Awards dinner, this time as a curtain raiser to the main event.

Maester Whippy had been brought on board as chief sponsor of the Team Awards, and the crowd were content with their complimentary ice creams. The sponsor had also commissioned the renowned goldsmiths Sutt from Butt to craft two new awards for previously unrecognised individual brilliance: The Big Golden Sundae - for best Big Guy across the 3 divisions, and the Stunty Cone - for best stunty player.

The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
ImageImage Zinlotl (Sotek Sacred Spawning) (15SPP)
The Unofficial Maester Whippy Big Golden Sundae
ImageImage Weggie Rhite (Hostile Kiddies IV) (16SPP)

The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards

Regionals:
Turns (1181): Easy Mode Maniacs
Completions (27): Dallas Drowboys
TDs (18 ): Port Macquarie Snowleopards
Intercepts (2): Port Macquarie Snowleopards
Cas (35): Easy Mode Maniacs
SPP (116): Easy Mode Maniacs
Passing yards (155): Port Macquarie Snowleopards
Rushing yards (304): Dallas Drowboys
Blocks (347): Mad Midgardians
Fouls (34): Mad Midgardians and Bribery and Corruption
Blocks/Cas (10.48 ): Easy Mode Maniacs
Pass/Cp (6.46): Port Macquarie Snowleopards
Kills (6): Easy Mode Maniacs and Freezy Trees

Conferences:
Turns (1178): Technically Minded
Completions (35): Wings of the Condor
TDs (18 ): Wings of the Condor
Cas (28 ): Sphinxes from Mars
SPP (99): Wings of the Condor
Passing yards (102): [SWL] Jeagers
Rushing yards (283): Wings of the Condor
Blocks (402): Madness Mountain Misery
Fouls (48 ): Sphinxes from Mars
Blocks/Cas (10.84): Orcs for Correct Spelling
Pass/Cp (6.6): Horrors Of Skye
Kills (4): Chaos All Sorts and Asha'maniac and Large Head-on Colliders and Madness Mountain Misery

The ice creams had been consumed and the crowd had moved on to the hard liquor. A commotion erupted near the back of the auditorium as an Ogre charged to the Hostile Kiddies IV table and swung a chair at the back of the head of Weggie Rhite. The Ogre snatched the trophy from the grasp of the unconcious Weggie and raised it high into the air to the cheers of his team mates.

The MC was not amused, and tapped on his microphone for attention. "err... excuse me. Mr Eric. Please put that down. It doesn't belong to you. While the league appreciates the Nu Big Ladz stepping in to help, the fact of the matter is, you're ineligible. Your are a Filler, and you simply don't count!"

This was not the wisest of actions from the esteemed member of the Awards sub sub committee. It took 10 security guards to pull the furious Eric Da Eavy off the battered MC. As the poor announcer was stretchered from the theatre screaming in pain, the rest of the committee engaged in a heated debate. The main issue was resolved promptly enough, but it took some time to decide who'd be the poor sap to continue proceedings.

"Gentlemen, please take to your seats, thank you", the nervous replacement began. "It seems there has been an error. The Big Golden Sundae will now go to Eric Da Eavy. The award will be presented to Eric once it has been surgically removed from my colleague. There will be a short intermission while this is performed then we can continue on to the Premier awards. In the meantime will the Easy Mode Maniacs kindly hand their Blocks per Cas award to the Nu Big Ladz?"

A loud crash rang out as a table was flipped onto the floor. And so began the great LXII Awards Riot.

Corrections:
The Unofficial Maester Whippy Big Golden Sundae
ImageImage Eric Da Eavy (Nu Big Ladz) (18SPP)

Blocks/Cas (8.6): Nu Big Ladz


Last edited by ramchop on Jan 11, 2016 - 06:10; edited 2 times in total
suttbutt



Joined: Mar 16, 2015

Post   Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 08:30 Reply with quote Back to top

This letter has been sent to notify you of the intent to sue, by my clients. The "Hostile Kiddies IV" football team.

It is their firmly held belief that the Maester Whippy I-Scream Kompanie fraudulently changed the results of their post season awards to satisfy the whims of an ineligible party.

My clients also believe that the 'security team' provided by Maester Whippy for the event. Consisting of a drunk, braindead sheep was inadequate to handle what should have been expected violence.

My clients suffered public humiliation at the hands of your award selection committee and are seeking damages compensation.

Kind regards,

Lodegy Dawyer
Middenheim Law Firm

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Toonie



Joined: Jun 03, 2004

Post   Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 09:27 Reply with quote Back to top

A group of bruised and extremely intoxicated Norsemen sat amongst what was left of an awards night.
They had consumed copious ammounts of ale, lager and other assorted beers when they discovered celebrations were on hand for they had achieved some sort of greatness.
Watching other participants in the crowd, they soon discovered this celebration consisted of thumping anything that moved.
So they willingly joined in, punching, kicking and biting anyone that wasn't a member of their own team.
Eventually their coach managed to calm them down when the dust started to settle.
He asked them, "well men what have we learned from tonight? What do we excel at?"
Pretty much as a group they replied "hitting and kicking people"
"Yes, yes" the coach agreed, "but what do we seem to be doing wrong? why aren't we scoring and winning games?"
One of the drunken men grinned and replied, "i know, it's them two runner dudes, they aren't running fast enough!"
Toonie just shook his head and walked off thinking to himself that they still had a lot to learn and a long journey ahead to learn it.

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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 11:20
FUMBBL Staff
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SWL Awards LXII

Welcome to the SWL awards for Season 62. We'll have to rush through them tonight as we've wrecked the joint and the hosts have called the police. Hopefully we'll get to the end before we're evicted.

Image Image Flumoxed Faulcon (Easy Mode Maniacs) and Image Grumnir (Banner of the Black Stag) 10TDs
Image Image Caging Chris (Easy Mode Maniacs) 17 Cas
Image Image High Rollin' Heretek, ImageMinmax Micky and ImageDiabolical Dapperdan (Easy Mode Maniacs) 115 Turns
Image Image Grumnir (Banner of the Black Stag) 174 Rushing yards
Image Image Hoover widowmaker (Port Macquarie Snowleopards) 147 Pass yards
Image Image Dirty Pool (Bribery and Corruption) 25 Fouls
Image Image Skyscraper I (Urban Nightmare) 82 Blocks
Image Image Hoover widowmaker (Port Macquarie Snowleopards) 21 Cps
Image Image Pocket Rocket (Steel Fists of Dorugan) 3.57 Block/Cas
Image Image Hoover widowmaker (Port Macquarie Snowleopards) 7 Pass/Cp

Image Image Caging Chris (Easy Mode Maniacs) and Image Flumoxed Faulcon (Easy Mode Maniacs) 34SPP



Image Image GLaDOS (Technically Minded) 8TDs
Image Image Chuhui (Sotek Sacred Spawning) and Image Independant Roger (Orcs for Correct Spelling) 11 Cas
Image Image Sill Slimeson and Image Gov. Scumtini (Soylent Greenstars); Image Dik Scrushy (Colour of Money) 113 Turns
Image Image GLaDOS (Technically Minded) 184 Rushing yards
Image Image Gypsy Danger ([SWL] Jeagers) 103 Pass yards
Image Image Karma Man II (Sphinxes from Mars) 29 Fouls
Image Image Chuhui (Sotek Sacred Spawning) 83 Blocks
Image Image Lyceres (Wings of the Condor) 18 Cps
Image Image Independant Roger (Orcs for Correct Spelling) 4.55 Block/Cas
Image Image Ricardo de Suza (Mexican Standoff) 7.62 Pass/Cp

Image Image Lothario II (Athel Loren Lovers) 30SPP

... oh damn! They're here. Congratulations to all the winners, we'll get to the Stars of Prem another time.
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post 23 Posted: Dec 16, 2015 - 13:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Accusations of foul play have been levelled at the B&C. The tactics of Dirty Pool put forward as a leading exhibit. One thing's for sure, Bribery and Corruption will soon make an end of that upstart little skink who claimed an "outstanding stunty" award, if he ever dares set flipper down in the reggies, where the cas flow like light shining off the razor-sharp claw of a top-heavy dwarf.

Did you all hear the one about the bone-headed Ogre who didn't count? Mr. Green

Ahem. In our defence, we can clearly point out that Dirty Pool is laid up and couldn't possibly have fouled anyone in that condition, and he'll kick anyone who says otherwise right into next season. The leg brace just makes him meaner you know, not that any of it's true. Mad

Boot's barely even worth melting down.
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 07, 2016 - 04:41
FUMBBL Staff
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After a lengthy intermission we are finally able to present the awards for the SWL Premier League LXII

The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards

Premier:

Turns (1134): SWL Fun Police
Completions (17): Griffon Gate Sentinels
TDs (13): Wä?a Warriors
Cas (34): Error 404 afterlife not found
SPP (91): SWL Fun Police
Passing yards (58 ): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Rushing yards (245): Wä?a Warriors & Slumbering Skink
Blocks (354): Wä?a Warriors
Fouls (38 ): Error 404 afterlife not found
Blocks/Cas (10.9): SWL Fun Police
Pass/Cp (7.2): Intoxicated Mayhem
Kills (5): SWL Fun Police


SWL Premier League LXII Twahnlows
The Disco Dan Ball:
Image Image Ubirr III (Wä?a Warriors) 9TDs
The Replacemnt Knuckles:
Image Image Huge Axeman (Error 404 afterlife not found) 11 Cas
The Touchstone Heart:
Image Image Rancid RedMaul (SWL Fun Police) 113 Turns
The Xies-ler-aym Slipper:
Image Image Ubirr III (Wä?a Warriors) 192 Rushing yards
The Manfred von Richthofen Arrow:
Image Image Borgan Bollinger (Intoxicated Mayhem) 34 Pass yards
The John Stone Boot:
Image Image Cabbapult (Error 404 afterlife not found) 24 Fouls
The Eth'el Shield:
Image Image Rotting Roger (SWL Fun Police) 62 Blocks
The Emilio Luthien Boomerang:
Image Image Vaeril (Griffon Gate Sentinels) 6 Cps
The Geoffrey Grimwade Fist:
Image Image ghoulhardy (Error 404 afterlife not found) 4.67 Block/Cas
The Duskwind Strongarm:
Image Image Borgan Bollinger (Intoxicated Mayhem) 6.8 Pass/Cp


The Duke Snakefield Medallion:
Image Image Ubirr III (Wä?a Warriors) 28SPP


Last edited by ramchop on Jan 11, 2016 - 05:47; edited 1 time in total
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jan 07, 2016 - 13:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Image A Season 63 Preview, bought to you by the all-conquering orcs who aren't even going to be here this season. Rude! Also those insurance Goblins, who insist their ratings system is improved on last season.

Terence, what a storming run the W??a Warriors had in 62, who'd have picked it other than our very show!

--

Well, Phillip, we didn't actually pick them, thought they'd be a bit slow, but Ubirr was just too much to handle for all of them. A well named Orc, that one.

--

Right, Terence, thanks for that. How did that whole value concept of yours stand up to grim light of Nuffle's presence anyway?

--

Ah, we've no network time for dwelling on the past here, Phillip, thanks to our sponsors for what little we do! On we go to this season's premier previews.


Image Technically Minded are our Season 58 Premiers, back from a short break and the last two seasons regaining their touch in the Conferences. Other than a problem they've hit with numbers after the recent Urn match, including the death of big Arnold Schwarzenegger in his star-making match, uh, they're also a bit beaten up. They had such a good defensive setup, just four scored against them all season, it won't be the same without Arnold, especially against these top squads. Still, have to imagine they'll bounce back, there's a feast of skill in the team, superstars GLaDOS and Astro Boy and more on the way, there's not much wrong with dwarves at the worst of times.

Rating: 212, with around 100k banked, a top coach, good big team still, expenses not too bad, and hardly in need of a big bench even with all the head injuries. First match they'll even get a whole pile of inducements, and we know how well they work.


Image Error 404 Afterlife Not Found are our Season 61 Premiers, and runners up in season 62 with the champs now taking a break. Going on form, the cumulative experience of the relatively young team, they'll be hard to touch. Loss of the agile Foxjay early last season has slowed them, and getting the new Werewolf Jazzie Batesman up to that level of confidence will take a season or two yet. Not to mention, stealing the some of the growing glory of their superstars Huge Axeman and Ghoulhardy.

Rating: 211, with a million banked, a long run of top form, while other great teams can certainly beat them, are any of the other teams in Premier great enough this year? Only time will tell. I expect them to be parked in the top two still, but the competition is outstanding.


Image In just their fourth season, the Jaegers have made prem, with superstar thrower Gypsy Danger winning awards all the way along. They've a full squad, looking much stronger than any of last season's agile entries into Premier (aside from the winning Orcs, haha) with six further stars known well to their many fans and ready to threaten any moment's weakness with lightning turnovers. Having said that, the fans of other teams will note the lack of individual excellence from any particular challengers to ball security. Mmm.

Rating: 203, and 200k in the bank, last season I enjoyed suggesting elves can win anything, well these elves will win plenty by making every slight failing of their opponents pay. Forcing mistakes against the best coaches and teams here may be more of a challenge.


Image Slumbering Skink are 6 time Premier champions (in 61 seasons), so claiming third place in season 62 barely rates for them, other than keeping them "where they belong" in the Premier events. The team's trimmed down over the last season with three rookie Saurus now complimenting the remaining three superstars Llsch, Strdthm, and Llstrr, and a fourth with the agile little Shntsyeooa still around to handle the ball. There's plenty of room to grow, but also to fall off with injuries still plaguing the older players. Old fans of this team have seen it go both ways many times over.

Rating: 200, still nearly two million banked, while it might have been easier to help the younger players gain some spirit down a grade, the fans will love it up here, and this particular premier mix is less lethally dangerous than many that have come before.


Image Asha'maniac finally make the premier after terrifying the conferences for 6 of their 7 seasons. Superstars like big Slayer Damer Flinn and workhorse Runner Mazrim Taim, along with a few more freakish young dwarves quickly coming to the attention of casual fans, make this team a proper threat. Not that I'd expect them to take the title, but their defence last season has shown improvement and they could easily decide the champion by beating some of the bigger and faster contenders.

Rating: 197, and 300k in the bank, the maniacs (as their fans call them) won't fear being up here, but I can't see it doing their record much good, not with a much grander dwarf side they have to live in the shadow of, and so much ability to shift the ball in other teams.


Image The Orcs for Correct Spulling crash into the premier for their 5th season. No great chance of replacing the W??a Warriors as champions, just the one agile blitzer appears in Portugese Pedro, though they've maintained a good winning record with outstanding defence (just 22 TD against them in 33 games) and superstar Independent Roger has a fair record for dishing out pain against pretty solid teams. I'd guess not, but I guessed that about the Warriors too. Their fans certainly think they can do it.

Rating: 192, and half a million in the bank, seems like they need more time to develop, and perhaps some more specially agile blitzers before they can challenge for the title. Doesn't pay to underestimate a coach with a record like this on a pretty ordinary collection of players though.


Image Soylent Greenstars come to premier in their 6th season, still a bit undercooked if you ask me, it takes such a long time to grow these pustulent horrors into the great players they eventually become. Certainly the agile superstar Shambling Shirl will carry well, but losing similarly agile Tangled Frank late in season 62 is a tough break to make up for in the big time. The Warriors showed us what a set of agile players in a heavy team can do, it's not likely with just the one and so few real killers in the team to make holes for her.

Rating: 185, and 300k in the bank, they'll survive this trip well enough, and do some damage against anyone that treats them lightly, but it hurts to lose a team-leading superstar just before hitting the toughest competition of your "lives".


Image Wings of the Condor are finely tuned pros, carrying the thinnest roster of only the healthiest players, pulling surprise inducements as a result. It gives this team of incredibly agile freaks including superstar Viola and stars LaCoy and Lyceres a greatly improving record coming into their 6th season. Not to mention some surprising power and no fear of putting the boot in against anyone who might try to pile apon their relatively delicate teammates. With 18 touchdowns last season, including against big premier quality teams, this is surely a side to beware.

Rating: 183, and 300k in the bank, but watch out! As much as they've kept their expenses in check here, the incredible feats the team can pull with players like this will astound even in the premier. Mark your calendars!


--

But what's the date, Terence?

--

I don't know Phillip, soon! The teams this season are a more even match. It's not just the change in our ratings, the teams are less horribly wrecked at the bottom end, and less grossly full of legends taking all the team's cash at the top. In fact, not a single legend stands in any of our premier squads, they're all hiding down in the Conferences!

--

Eh, that might not be good for ratings, Terence.

--

Oh, hush, Phillip, the Premier Division of the Southern Wastes League is where all the crystal-ball networks will be tuned as always, other than those infamous games the goblins play out in the Regions. Ha!

--

Thanks, Terence. You heard it here fans, the next season is on the way, the competition will be tight, the three champions of seasons past meeting some keen younger squads with top records who've well and truly earned their place here ahead of the old match fillers. We'll be back for more on the Conferences once they're drawn, and the Reggionals once the current Trial of Blood has worked the usual magic on this season's fresh teams.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jan 10, 2016 - 13:32 Reply with quote Back to top

Scandal Terence! The dorfs have fled, the big ones even!

--

Indeed Phillip, something about "the state of the team" was mentioned as Technically Minded were seen fleeing for the mountainhomes. The fortunes were read, and it has been determined that the Premier Division will instead graciously host ...

Image The Sacred Spawning of Sotek luck into their 5th trip to a Premier season. In almost a mirror of the Slumbering skink, we find three superstar Saurus by the names of Axoc, Cu, and Chuhui, and a fourth with the hardy little Tahua to carry the ball. Their 12th season, the team is ambitious, but let's face it probably won't do any better than the first four times considering how they got here, and all the switch has done is make it that much easier for Error 404 to reclaim the title.

Rating 193, with half a million banked, they'll have no trouble financing the team, but lack a bench and the odd injury working on the older players, what more but a mid-field finish can the fans really expect? Would've had more luck down in the Conferences.

--

Brutal assessment Terence. But now the real story of the day!

Image A Season 63 Preview bought to you by those Lizards who bribed everyone they think of for another shot at the title, possibly including Technically Minded if you're to go by the rumours. Terence, the teams have been divided! Give us some more of your infinite wisdom about who's maybe rubbish and who maybe isn't.

--

Thanks Phillip, will do!

Halequins of Despair Conference sees two teams down from the Premier, some also-rans from the Conferences, and three squads up from the Regionals, two for their first time. There's plenty of teams here bigger than anything in the Premier, and they're steaming about being left out!

Image SWL Fun Police Rating 228, treasury 300k. Huge squad just barely missed the cut to stay in Premier, they prefer slamming the top teams, but you better believe they'll not go easy down here, getting back to Premier by brute force will be everything to their fans. Foul Frank is still missed.

Image Mexican Standoff Rating 228, treasury 200k. Massive for elves, superstar kicker Sancho and catcher Isabella Fontanna the ones their fans go wild about, but there's plenty of stars and more on the way to win them games too. Should go on to Premier from here.

Image Autumn's Leaves Rating 216, treasury 400k. More big elves, five stars, two more on the way, but showing their age and not a great record, they'll again struggle to advance.

Image Large Head-On Colliders? Rating 213, treasury 1 million. But rumours they may not make it! Where will the SWL be without legends François Englert, Robert Brout, and Sneutrino?

Image Prancing Unicorns Rating 185, treasury 300k. First trip to the Conferences, freakish superstar Luke Skywalker still carrying the team solo, they were lucky to make it and may well just be sent back to the Regionals.

Image Freezy Trees Rating 185, treasury 400k. Screaming in a blind rage about killing elves, it might be the elves killing them again if last season was anything to go by, especially with the quality of these ones. We all know they're just in it for the silver boot.

Image Griffon Gate Sentinals Rating 180, treasury 100k. Losing team original superstars (and SWL record holders) Felaern and Kantil in one Premier season has devistated them, Iolas is left all but alone on the team, vowing to lead the rebuild of their former greatness. I see a trip to the regionals in their future.

Image Dallas Drowboys Rating 173, treasury all but empty. Reaching the conferences in a team's second season is usually a death sentence. Will this be any different? Unlikely, but anything's possible with elves.

--

Three Conferences again, isn't it Phillip, what happened to the idea of a fourth?

--

It certainly is three, Terence, and only two Regional divisions below them, a hard drive for young teams that barely showed up for season 62 has made the promoters somewhat more cautious in accepting applicants. Filler teams were a drain on the financial reserves of the League, despite good crowds and returning fans, and they'll need at least this season to recover.


Mort Volente Conference has the two Dark Elf teams down from Premier, three space holders from last season's Conferences, and also three strong new teams up from the Regionals. It's the smallest set of team budgets around, barely bigger than the Regionals, but with a lot more coaching skill on display!

Image Psych Lab Rating 203, treasury bare as a baby rat. Looking to regain former glories, superstar Martina will certainly trouble the younger teams here, but can the rest keep up against all those inducements if the full team is ever healthy?

Image Malaproprism Mania Rating 193, treasury 400k. Their legend of a bull The Abdominal Snowman is hard to stop, but not that hard considering they're stuck here in the Conferences again. Best chance for progression they'll have for a long time to come.

Image Steaked Rating 188, treasury starving. They've done it before, they could do it again, and I wouldn't bet against them bouncing strait back to the Premier, where they got a few wins.

Image High Elvis Rating 187, treasury being cruel. For just their third season, the collection of old ankle and skull fractures is growing faster than the team can replace them. They did well to stay up, but you couldn't expect them to progress.

Image Easy Mode Maniacs Rating 176, treasury 500k. Home to lauded killer, superstar Caging Chris, the team puts everything into feeding him big hits, and their win percentage suffers for it. Still, they dominated their trip to regionals.

Image Jinxed Jesters Rating 172, treasury 300k. Shooting strait to premier for just their third season was hard on the team. They'll take more time yet to rebuild, though it's a fair Conference for doing so and they should stay up, three stars surviving and more on the way.

Image Urban Nightmare Rating 147, treasury 200k. Second season for this ambitious squad with the crazy plans leaping their way to victory, I expect the big squads here will send them packing, though it's fair skill to advance with a young one like this. Future killers.

Image New World Winers and Diners Rating 142, treasury 200k. Another second season squad rounds out the division, star Count Timothée Beau Pre will struggle going it alone here, not to mention keep a full squad on the pitch.

But these young squads, season 61 and 62 both saw an agile squad tear apart their conference and hare into the Premier, only to be smashed to bits for their troubles in the first case, but these may power and dodge their way through as well.

--

Seems unlikely, doesn't it Terence, such young teams growing so fast, beating the giants with near-endless experience, but they just keep doing it!

--

That's right, Phillip, as much as the high-rated teams have an advantage on average, they're more limited in growth and the blessings of Nuffle will fall even on teams of Ogres now and again, let alone Elves.


Elektric Boogaloo holds none from the Season 62 Premier, but four each from the Conferences and Regionals, including some teams that never should have fallen so low in the first place but for a plague of injuries.

Image Horrors of Skye Rating 229, treasury 1 million. Along with legends Skinner, Blue Lord, and Red Knight they have a massive team backing them to return to Premier in the best shape they've ever been in 18 seasons.

Image Blackwater Glee Club Rating 214, treasury empty. The infamous team returns unchanged from it's time in the timeless zones, superstars Mickey Danzig, Damien Halford, and Dan Rollins will be remebered with terror in the eyes.

Image Chaos All Sorts Rating 205, treasury 300k. Just the fifth season of play for this ancient team, their three giants still growing by the match may one day threaten the best of them.

Image Redgum's Rodents Rating 195, treasury 200k. Dodgy Dan, Slick Simon, Terence the Tosser, superstars indeed, 13th season could be the one to return them to the Premier, if only they had Psych Lab's position in Morte Volente, ha!

Image Wonga Wonga Whalekillers Rating 190, treasury 200k. Legends Kegman Eigil and Fish Oil Nillson along with superstar !Mbele Mummyslayer dominated their excursion to the Regionals, and some new emerging stars around them will support their return to greatness for these 4-time Premier winners.

Image Port Macquarie Snowleopards Rating 188, treasury 100k. Superstars Hoover Widowmaker and Bolwgon Softrock cleaned up in the Regionals, they may struggle to keep a team around them long enough to do much here.

Image Nemesis Demons Rating 180, treasury gone to hell. Finally reaching the Conferences after three seasons in the Regionals doesn't give much hope for more, especially against this class of opponent.

Image Daemon Ex Tesserae Rating 138, treasury 200k. Hahaha. Oh dear. Half the team has made it to the Conferences, hopefully some of them survive long enough to crawl back to the Regionals, journeyman elves welcome by the wagonload.

--

Terence, professionalism, please.

--

Right you are, Phillip. That's our Conferences, named in tribute to the Harlequins of Despair, the Mort Volente, and the Elekric Boogaloo, great teams from past seasons of the Southern Wastes League.

We've Regional previews on the way, once the trials settle out who gets the last few places and any filler teams are picked from the fringes of this great competition of ours! The games are underway though, watch for the massive crowds swarming the allied stadiums and join in. Southern Wastes League, where all the action is.

--

Bravo Terence, bravo. Though I still doubt anyone tunes their balls to read the details of the fresh teams in the Regionals. Really.

--

Wrong this time Phillip, fans follow the Regionals intently, and there's scads of money to be made betting on unlikely outcomes if you know which teams to bribe to get them. Hint: it's the Goblins! Wait, did I say that out loud?

--

Ah, no, and thanks to our sponsors, the Sacred Spawning of Sotek, deserved Premier Division entrants.

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suttbutt



Joined: Mar 16, 2015

Post   Posted: Jan 10, 2016 - 13:57 Reply with quote Back to top

Dom looked back at the gathering of men at a table across the bar. Reggie's head still bandaged from the last awards night scuffle.

Although they were out of earshot of the Cabalvision broadcast it wouldn't take long for tbe news to hit their ears.

The Hostile Kiddies had been snubbed from the conferences again.
Probably woth good reason too.

Another season of toil in the small, rodent infested stadiums of the southern wastes.

Perhaps Nuffle would favor the sons of man in the upcoming season, or perhaps not....

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DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 10, 2016 - 14:37 Reply with quote Back to top

"Right people. Dress rehearsal is over and it is time for the curtain to go up."

"But Sam, we have 11 players, no treasury and a lack of form."

"No. We are Slann. Always remember...

Whatever happens, we have got, tons of leap and they have not."

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Karnov



Joined: Jul 14, 2012

Post   Posted: Jan 11, 2016 - 05:01 Reply with quote Back to top

THE VICE REPORT

Straight from the desk of the M.P.D commissioner, here is a rogues gallery of the perps (killers, drug-infused stat boosters & fashion terrorists) targeted for judgement by the Maimami Vice in season LXIII:


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Flesh - Eau de Toilet

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Sam the Eagle - Henson’s Henchmen

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Eulian Jendelman - Hostile Kiddies IV

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Dingo Dave - South Warpstone Scavengers

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Grumnir - Banner of the Black Stag

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Alpha-157-0 - Tharsis Terrors

Newly crowned Melon Medalist from season XLII, Duke PukeImage, will be dispensing punishment in accordance with the law of the City of Maimami.

_________________
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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 11, 2016 - 07:10
FUMBBL Staff
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Team Challenge - LXIII People

The H.A.N.D. agent was perplexed. "But...? We paid the entrance fee.... you have to let us in!"

Wastepac CEO, Cobber Ponzi sighed. It was so much easier dealing with the foreigners, they knew how things worked. "Look, mate. The fans don't give a rat's arse about people. They want to see a show. Monsters, brutes, midgets, even elves. People are boring. The fans, the paying customers, simply don't care about people"

"ummm...", the agent was lost for words, "errr... Ulfs, Snow Trolls, Ogres. There are interesting players in the H.A.N.D."

"Ogres! Ha! Who needs an Ogre when there are whole teams of Ogres, with their amusing little sidekicks. Even Cocksville got bored of their Ogre"

"What about Sally? Sally was a person"

"Sally was a Goddess!", snapped Cobber, "This meeting is over. Get out of here!"

"I'm sorry", sighed the agent, rummaging through his bag, "Let me leave you with this, to think things over". He placed a large brown envelope on the table, turned, and left.

Cobber eagerly opened the envelope wondering just how big the bribe would be this time. It had better be good or there's no way he'd let them in. Instead all he found was a magazine 'Sports Illustrated: Disney Princess Swimsuit Edition'


The Wastepac Team Challenge is proud to welcome H.A.N.D. into the competition
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 11, 2016 - 07:27 Reply with quote Back to top

Karnov wrote:
THE VICE REPORT

Straight from the desk of the M.P.D commissioner, here is a rogues gallery of the perps (killers, drug-infused stat boosters & fashion terrorists) targeted for judgement by the Maimami Vice in season LXIII:


ImageImage
Flesh - Eau de Toilet

ImageImage
Sam the Eagle - Henson’s Henchmen

ImageImage
Eulian Jendelman - Hostile Kiddies IV

ImageImage
Dingo Dave - South Warpstone Scavengers

ImageImage
Grumnir - Banner of the Black Stag

ImageImage
Alpha-157-0 - Tharsis Terrors

Newly crowned Melon Medalist from season XLII, Duke PukeImage, will be dispensing punishment in accordance with the law of the City of Maimami.


An absolutely outrageous accusation was made by the Maimami Mice today targeting the upstanding citizen Sam the Eagle. When interviewed, Sam only had this to say...

"Who do these punk kids think they are?"

Strong words indeed from a paragon of virtue.

_________________
"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW!
almic85



Joined: May 25, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 11, 2016 - 10:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Coach Almic once again bundled up his bag of warpstone and ventured down into the caverns in the Southern Wastes to round up his team of scavengers for another season at the bottom of the pack in regionals.

After spreading a goodly amount of warpstone around the bubbliest, greenliest sulphur pool he could find all he now had to do wsa hang back in the shadows and wait for his victims... err... I mean team to scurry out of the dark and into range of his cudgel.

After loading up the first twelve bags ready for transfer up to the surface Almic noticed a mismatched pair of shadows approaching the sulphur pool. Komodo Ken and Dingo Dave both stepped out of the darkness together and on second thought Ken looked much too big for a clubbing to work.

"Righto you two. The rest of the team is resting in those travel sacks ready for the journey up to the surface. As you two are the last to get here your job is to help carry the bags" announced Almic as he stepped out from the shadows.

A little startled Dingo Dave replied "but I'm only a gobo, how am I meant to carry any one else?"

"You don't get +ST by complaining" responded Almic "Oh, and by the way make sure you keep an eye on Duke Puke when we plau Maimami Vice..."

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