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JohannVonDarkheim
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2023-12-13 22:36:35
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2023-12-10 16:22:28
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2023-11-29 21:40:09
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2023-11-22 22:37:56
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SCBBL Week 3: Frostholm Dragons
"Good evening, sports fans! Tonight's matchup from the SCBBL saw the luckless Frostholm Dragons take on Chaos Dwarf opposition for the first time."

"This spells one of two things, Jim- calamity or carnage."

"True, Bob- this was evident from the opening kickoff, when the Dragons' drafted-in Star Player Mindy Piewhistle blew herself up with an exploding pie."

"The game continued in much the same fashion- I almost thought we were watching a game of Blood Bowl Sevens by the game's end!"

"Indeed, this was all you needed from a game of Dwarf VS Chaos Dwarf- the only thing missing was a touchdown, as the match finished 0-0."

"Not every game is a shootout, Jim."

"True, but the fans of Frostholm made it very clear they were unimpressed with their team's offence at the end of the game- they've gone five games without scoring!"

"Sounds like my dating life in high school, Jim."

"On that vaguely upsetting note, that's all we've got time for. Until next time, sports fans..."

"...don't touch that dial!"
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Posted by JohannVonDarkheim on 2023-11-27 14:24:35
"Good afternoon, sports fans! Today's early game from the SCBBL saw the Frostholm Dragons against the Fyr Darric Chiefs..."

"...and it was a grudge match for the ages, Jim. Dwarves and Elves is one of my favourite recipes for carnage."

"Indeed, the only thing we were wondering before this game was what would be higher- the casualty rate or the scoreline! The Dragons had yet to break their SCBBL duck, whereas their sylph-like foes had notched up five touchdowns in four games."

"Sylph-like?"

"Yes, Bob, it means graceful and elegant."

"Oh. I thought it was some sort of social disease."

"Quite. The game kicked off and from the beginning it looked as though the Dwarves were determined to show their foes who the boss was- we weren't halfway through the first half before the first blood had been spilled."

"It was a thing of beauty, Jim."

"As was the moment we thought that the Dwarves might score, only for the ball to pop out from a blitz and into the waiting hands of a Wardancer."

"I really did think that that was the moment that the manure was about to hit the fan, if you get my drift."

"Indeed, just as time ran out the Wood Elves scored and it looked as though it was going to be another loss for the luckless Dragons."

"However, one look at the dugouts told you that scoring was only half the story- it was like a scene from the War of the Beard in the Wood Elves' medical tent."

"Yes, so much blood was splattered about that I almost fancied popping down there for a... look."

"Or a drink?"

"I don't know what you mean, Bob."

"Hurrr, hurrr, hurrr."

"Such an attritional game meant disaster for Fyr Darric, and the inevitable happened- Frostholm got their equaliser."

"By game's end there were only three Elves left on the pitch, it was a thing of beauty."

"Indeed- the Frostholm fans are probably still celebrating even now."

"Curiously, the Dragons are still rooted to the bottom of the SCBBL despite this result, and Fyr Darric find themselves in the top four."

"That's Blood Bowl for you, Jim- you never know what's going to happen next."

"Indeed- unless you're watching a recap on Blood Bowl Game Pass!"

"You disgust me sometimes, Jim..."