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Match Result · Ranked division
Match recorded on 2017-06-29 18:53:21
TV 1790k High Elf
(CR 164.22 Super Star) Kondor
Winnings 60000
16000 (1 FAME) Spectators
+1 Fanfactor
Casualties 1/0/0
Ogre TV 1550k+290k
ben_awesome (CR 141.78 Experienced)
20000 Winnings
Spectators 13000
Fanfactor No change
3/1/1 Casualties
Player Turns Cps TDs Int Cas MVP SPP Pass Rush Blocks Fouls
#2 Kydeth 14 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 13 7 0
#4 Jharak Balmenor 2 1 0 0 0 0 1 -1 4 0 0
#5 Zabbas Iarsalor 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#6 Nienna Nénharma 14 3 1 0 0 0 6 12 18 1 0
#7 Vardan Wynlee 14 0 0 0 1 1 7 0 0 1 0
#8 Vaeri Farwaine 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#9 Maylin Helecan 11 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 12 5 0
#10 Fenian Olotoris 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#11 Meldalf Aedfaere 14 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6 0
#12 Throthradir Falavoul 5 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 6 4 0
#4 Maylin Helecan 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  Total 109 4 0 1 1 23 11 53 24 0

#4 Jharak Balmenor – Dead (RIP)
#9 Maylin Helecan – Smashed Hip (-MA)
Kondor was nervous. He had broken one of his lifelong rules. Never bet large on your own team, and more recently, never, ever bet big on the Archers of Avelon to win. Now he was in a situation where he had to cheer FOR the damnedable elves. Worse. If they lost the game, he would lose the bet to…..c9805222.

He should have known better. C98 looked too confident placing the wager. A loss would bankrupt Kondor not to mention the side bet. A loss would put him in the witch elf Hera’s chamber for the weekend.

But if they won, his fortune would be made, and C98 would send Hera to Kondor’s estate for the weekend. The difference in the side bet may seem minor but it made all the difference in the world. At his estate he could control the situation. At Hera’s he would likely wind up dead or at least stretched on a rack and violated.

Bahhh…How could he be as foolish as to place a bet with crime lord know for racketeering and game fixing? To make matters worse it was an away game held at The Lifting Bros Gym and Stadium. Home crowd of lifters and referees would certainly play a negative role in the match.

Kondor hurried to the field for the pre-game warm up. He had never cared for it before but this was important. A hapless snotling was doing one handed pushups on the sideline. Kondor kicked it down field a few yards and hurried to his appointed seat to watch the match.

Unlike most occasions he decided it was best not to sit next to c98. This was game 600 for the heavy lifting brothers and game 100 for the Archers. Neither team wanted to be on the losing end of this one.

Good evening Blood Bowl Fans and welcome to a historic Cabalvision Event as the The Archers of Avelon have traveled to The Lifting Bros Gym and Stadium to take on Do You Even Lift Bro. My name is Rhys ‘Sidearm’ Gilroris and I will be your announcer on this glorious occasion.

And my name is Neesha Aludra one of the founding members of the Archers of Avelon. Tonight’s match up brings together two old rivals. While the heavy lifting brothers have not yet bested the Archers they have certainly come close and inflicted heavy damage in the process. In their four previous engagements, the ogres have killed four Archers and seriously injured five others. You have to be either a very courageous or very foolish elf to take the field tonight.

Neesha, I would say that is a very good assessment of the situation. Not that I would ever do it, and not that I hope Eastwood would act on my bet, but you could certainly place a side wager that perhaps Vardan would die tonight.

Anyway, enough about wagers you simply have to look at the Lifting Brothers’ Sideline. Coach c98 is stalking the sideline barking orders and booting snotlings. He is serious tonight. And yet, I think he is smiling. Do you think he anticipates the kill or do you think he plans to win this one?

Who cares Rhys? Just look at that outfit he is wearing. Golden armor fit for a king encrusted with jewels and inlayed with platinum. He just shines. That is audacious. That is glorious. That is sooo tacky. And it looks like rumors are true. He is only wearing the armor today. You can tell when the chain mail chafes and he has to make an adjustment. We can only pray that he keeps the chainmail on for the entire match. This is after all watched by thousands of halflings and children.

We can only pray Neesha. On the other hand, look at Kondor on the Archer bench. He is normally very serene. Today he too stalks the sidelines. Clearly he is nervous. What is he looking at? He has locked eyes with the witch that serves as an assistant coach for the Bros. That would make me nervous too. There are many, many rumors surrounding that hag.

To the contrary, the Archer Team Captain looks absolutely placid. There was speculation that Revwe would play in this match but her injured hand did not heal as quickly as the Apothecary Corbis had expected. As part of a game time decision, she will be on the sideline hopefully encouraging her teammates to victory.

To start the match the Archers will kick the ball. It is in the air and in the hands of You Say What. War has him and just as quickly he and the ball are flying down the field. He STUCK the landing and is in the end zone. In the history of the game, I don’t think anyone has scored any quicker.

On the sideline, c98 is doing a celebratory hand stand. I apologize to our viewers a he really should be wearing clothing under that chainmail.

The ball is in the air again, and this time it is in the hands of the hands of Nienna the Archers’ legendary thrower and a heavy lifting dame. The Archers maneuver down field. What a beautiful legend to legend completion! Throthradir is in the endzone.

Again the ball is kicked to the Lifters. This time it is in the hands of Voodoo. Voodoo retreats towards his endzone while the ogres begin to pummel some elves. Now this is War. And when I say that, I mean a blitzing War has just leveled an elf and the elf in not moving. Neesha, did you see what happened?

Yes Rhys I did. Unfortunately, that was War’s patented multiple block body slam. Vardan was pushed out of the way and then War crushed Jharak into the turf. Not much chance he will get up from that one…..wait…..yes I was correct. The associate referee has pronounce him dead so play will continue on around the corpse.

Thanks Neesha that is unfortunate. It seems that War confused Jharak for Vardan. It is easy to do in the heat of the game. Look. Kydeth is putting pressure on Voodoo. He better do something before he gets splattered. It is a HAIL MARY PASS from the Lifter touch line. On the other end, the Swiss Army Snot has moved to the touch line and SCORES with a DIVING CATCH!

Unbelievable! A snotling to snotling Hail Mary for the score. You will not see that play again for another thousand games….or perhaps you will see it again tonight. For the love of all that is Nuffle’s someone get c98 some underwear!

There is still time left in the first half of play. Nienna has the ball again and moves it down the field. This time Kydeth makes a dash for the endzone on her gimpy legs. What a beautiful long pass for another legend to legend score to end the half. The crowd is on its feet and Kondor has fainted on the sideline. This may be more than he can take. Someone send a medic with some smelling salts.

As the teams take a break we have seen four scores in the second half. And now a word from the Cabalvision Sponsors.

The second half is about to get underway Revwe can be seen talking to Nienna and Vardan. Hopefully the plan is a good one because if the Archers do not find the endzone on this drive they will probably lose the match.

Kondor is seriously sweating. The witch Hestia is blowing him kisses and making hand gestures that while outlandish have clear crude undertones. Do you believe that? He has fainted again. Kondor has fainted again. What a gesture of sportsmanship. Coach c98 has sent Hera to the Archer sideline to look after Kondor in the dugout. Who knows if Kondor will ever recover?

The second half has begun and once again Nienna has the ball. She is maneuvering down the field and looking for an open catcher. No one is available! Eastwood has knocked Fenian out of the game and has his sights set on Nienna. The rush is coming but Nienna has cleared the ball to an elf down field. It looks like Maylin but I cannot be sure as an ogre is standing in my field of vision. Yes. It is Maylin and she will scamper into the endzone with pursuing. She has scored but War will not accept it. He is pummeling the elf even after the whistle has blown for the score. It is not exactly a foul since the ball is not in play. The ref does not know what to do. Now he is stomping on Maylin. Someone stop this unnecessary violence. The ref is wagging his finger vehemently and War has finally relented and will return to his place to await the coming kick off. Maylin is being dragged to the dugout. She is alive but I have no idea how that is possible.

The Archers have again kicked off and again Voodoo has the ball. Again he is retreating to his endzone. This time the Archers know the game plan and have marked the Swiss Army Snot as well as they can. Nienna herself has decided to go after Voodoo to prevent another miracle play. Voodoo is under pressure and knows he is about to get pummeled. He cocks his arm to throw and….drops the ball at Nienna’s feet. What a gift for the Archers. Nienna blasts him for his troubles, picks up the ball, and scores. Now each of the Archer legends have scored, and that play should put the game away. There is still time to try and toss a midget but even if the Lifters score, it will not matter.

And that is all! The epic match is in the books. It is all you could have asked for. Beauty and beasts. Poise and mayhem. War and Eastwood. Nienna and Kydeth. You may never see a match like that one again. Thanks for tuning in to Cabalvision here in the Gym. This is Rhys ‘sidearm’ Gilrois bidding you farewell until the next Archer of Avelon match.

Kondor awoke in the Archer dugout and heard a low buzzing noise. Slowly he opened his eyes to see a witchelf holding a tomato with a wild grin from ear to ear. It was more than he could take. The world began to spin and faded back to black.
Inducements: Star player Grotty, Star player Brick Far'th
Player Turns Cps TDs Int Cas MVP SPP Pass Rush Blocks Fouls
#1 RNG Breaker 14 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0
#3 Eastwood 14 0 0 0 3 0 6 0 0 12 0
#5 War 14 0 0 0 1 0 2 0 0 9 0
#7 Savage 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3
#8 Dick Dastardly 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#9 Tickler 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#10 Peace 13 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1
#11 YouSayWhat? 13 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0
#12 Todger Rocketing Rodger 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#13 Voodoo 13 0 0 0 0 1 5 25 -3 0 0
#14 SwissArmySnot 8 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 8 0 0
#15 Supersub Extrodinaire 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#90 Grotty 12 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 11 1 0
#91 Brick Far\'th 14 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 1
  Total 139 0 0 4 1 19 25 16 30 5

#15 Supersub Extrodinaire – Dead (RIP)
What a game. Excitement, passion, the fans had come out to see their heroes play.

The agility and flash of the elves vs. the bloody mind(less)ness of the ogres. and bloody it was. Watched on by the likes of Dirty Harry (its rumoured even Morg turned up to watch the game, personally invited by Harry as an equal), Eastwood set out on mission to prove he is the greatest Bro that EVER Lifted.

Meanwhile with some trickery and subterfuge plus the hiring of Grotty (another ag4 star), the Ogres got a first turn td, and then followed this up with a coast to coast hail mary pass score, confounding the elves.

Unfortunately buoyed by this success and too confident Voodoo fumbled an equalising HMP pass right in front of the terrifying Nienna who put the game out of reach as she worked her special brand of elven magic, securing the lost ball and scoring again. Disheartened hired star Brick couldn't muster the strength to get a final TTM TD in the final moments of the match.

As the final whistle blew, c9805222 turned to Konder and wordlessly handed over a large sack of clinking coins...

Back in the changing room, even the ogres cowered from c9805222's wrath, how could they on such a landmark occasion watched over by those that had made the team great in the first place, fail at the final hurdle when so much had already been done to secure victory against this team of elves, a team depleted and missing their iconic captain no less. Smash went to say something and c9805222 popped his hip out for him a second time in two weeks before stalking from the changing room as the ogre's screams echoed throughout the stadium, sending the masses of fans scurrying for cover.

The Sluggers new season was nearly upon them and he was now in the mood to put them through some proper pre-season training.

But first there were some witch elves to punish...

NB: Badge added to the team bio!
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