Rite, Great Gobbo ere an I wantz ter no oo ere on Fumbbl iz in charge of stopping kounterfit majik itemz frum bein sold koz I wantz ter grass up grant85 fer bein a lyin, cheetin git! Lettuz explain......

We ad just arrived in a klearin in Athel Loren forest fer a game against sum gurly Wud Elvez called Rooots, coached by sum git kalled grant85. I new we wuz in fer a tuff game az dey ad given uz a sakfull o dosh jus ter turn up an play, so whilst Nige an er sistaz put der teem coach away in der stablez before nippin off fer a pint I decided ter go fer a wanda round der ground ter see if I kud find anyfin useful ter spend me money on.

In wun korner of der ground in der shade of a big tree was a stall sellin all kindz o krap. Stuff like offichal teem combs, likkle wooden statues of der famuz playerz an snakz an stuff. So I went ovva ter get a pak o stikkaz an a bag o pork skratchinz fer Nige wen I noticed dat der geeza runnin da stall woz a wizzurd. I new diz koz ee ad a traffic kone on iz ead wiv 'WIZZURD' written on it.

"Oi mush" ee sed, "yew lookin fer any majik itemz or spellz? Koz I az em ere, durt cheep".
"Wotcha got?" I arsked
"Diz box o majik itemz an a spell fer only free million quid!"
"Give yer too undred fousand gold fer it" sed me
"Deal" ee sed, grabbed der gold, frew der box at me an ran off laffin manically.

Feelin gud about der deal I ad juz got I took der box inter der dugout an started dishin out der goodies.
"Grim Toejam, dese iz fer yew. Day iz kalled 'Gloves o Oldin' an givez yer katch an sure andz. Evil Kneeful, tek diz belt of invulnerability which will ignore neg mods or re-rollz on yer armor an Greeda Stinkbreath yew tek diz lucky rabbitz foot ter give yer pro fer der day. Rite now get out der an win me der game".

Az I looked akross der pitch at der oppositchun dugout I saw dat bluddy wizzurd in der! Ee waved at me, den took off iz traffic kone an WOW! It wuz grant85 in disguise all along! Konfused an a likkle in awe o such an amazin disguise I got out me magic spell an prepared ter blast iz star blitzer wiv a lightning bolt. I sed der wurdz, der skyz turned blakk, a funder kloud formed ovva iz ead.......an went pfft den shot off like a norty balloon which ad bin blown up den let go.

Whilst ee wuz rollin round on der floor of iz dugout laffin we managed ter brek out an Evil frew der ball ter Greeda fer an easy katch an skore, espechully wiv iz lukky rabbit foot. Dropped der ball twice den fell ovva a mole ill. Den Grim az a chance ter skore usin iz new majik glovez.....until ee dropz der handovva twice before failin ter pick it up twice. Grant85 is in hysteriks so I tellz Greeda ter ruff up sum o iz ladz. Ee blokkz Xavier Goldbrook an...skull, but no, wait, lukky wabbit foot to der rescue an...skull.

Afta der game I ad a look round fer im but ee ad buggered off inter der treez ages ago so we set off bak ter der swamp avin bin frashed by dem cheetin elves. So ter stop iz likkle game I iz letting all yewz ovva coaches I seez on me wayz ome not ter buy any majik itemz frum people wiv traffic kones on der eadz, koz it iz dat cheeter grant85!

Oh an Nige sez if yews az any stikkaz yew wanna swap wiv er den let er no. She espechully wantz shineyz of teem logos.

Full game ere!