Der Green Tide 0 v 0 L'ile des Saints

MATCH CONCEEDED AT HALF TIME BY L'ILE DES SAINTS

22/04/15 @ Greenacres Stadium, the Moot.

Commentary with your regular host Boggle Lillylion.

"Ello fanz, Boggle ere in der bluddy Moot an itz otta den der ringsting I got frum eetin sumfin kalled a vindaloo last nite. It'z too ot fer most o der gobbos az only 9,000 av turned up compared ter 18,000 wud elves.

Der Saintz wun der toss an elekt ter receive. Seemz like der Tide arr eager ter get der game started az dey blitz der elves, putting pressure on where dey fing der ball will land. Caracas decidez ter kreate sum room by blitzin Der Mad Atta an dat lookz like it reely urt im. Thrower kumz akross an pikkz up der ball an bringz it just ovva der alfway line. Ziggy Freefingerz punches Graham Truewing in der face an OOOOH, dat lookz like ee az brokken iz jaw!

Eskorted by Catcheur, Thrower continues deep into Tide territory an it lookz like ee must skore, no wait eez stopped on der goal line ter kill sum klokk. Tagarsh Grogdrinkka jumpz ter iz feet, dodgez wun, dodgez anuvva, pilez inter Thrower nokkin im ovva an der ball loose. Thrower triez ter move Grogdrinkka away frum der ball but Grogdrinkka side stepz im DEN BRINGZ IM DOWN WIV A DIVIN TAKKLE! Grogdrinkka getz ter iz feet an itz Catcheur oo smakz Grogdrinka onter iz arse. Well dat lookz like dat az Catcheur pickz up der ball BUT EE DECIDEZ TER STOP ON DER GOAL LINE ! Grogdrinkka lookz pissed off, ee getz up, dodgez too takkles, unloadz on Catcheur an badly urtz im den pikkz up der ball! Az diz supa gobo saved der day fer der tide? Not if Thrower az summat ter do wiv it az ee getz up an nokkz Grogdrinkka ovva, pikkz up der ball AN AGEN REFUSEZ TER SKORE !!! WOT IZ GOIN ON ?!!! Grogdrinnka obviously finkz dis iz tekkin der mikk az wunce agen ee dragz iz body off der floor an teks Thrower ter der dekk agen, an wunce agen skoopz up der ball ! Wot an effert by Grogdrinkka! Manu chao triez ter blitz arr ero BUT NO, FREEFINGERZ BRINGZ IM DOWN WIV AN ACE DIVIN TAKKLE! Der Saintz av totally botched dat alf o football, but Grogdrinnka ent dun as ee smashes Tien AN AZ KILLED IM! An der whistle goes fer alf time an wot a alf by Grogdrinkka.

Ang on, sumfin az bin frown owt o der Saintz dug owt, it lookz like a teddy bear, now a scuffle az broken owt. Diz iz extrowdinary! An now we iz getting wurd dat DER SAINTZ AZ KONCEEDED !!! I NEVVA FORT I WUD SEE DER DAY DAT SUMWUN WUD KONCEED AGAINST DER TIDE AT ALF TIME WIV DER SKORE AT 0-0 !!! An der elves ent appy wiv der koach az star wardancer Manu chao, star frowwa Thrower an supa star katcha Catcheur AV ALL KWIT DER TEEM IN DISGUZT !!! WOT IZ APPENIN ERE ITZ MENTAL !!! An der fanz ent appy an datz my kew ter leeve, TIDE WIN BY KONSESHUN, NOW LEG IT!!!!"