The Great Gobbo was huddled over his desk in the Green Tide's office. On the tiny desk opposite him the only other occupant of the room, a thin, shivering Goblin named Gob Skratchit was trying to complete his paperwork in the freezing room. Quietly he slipped from his desk and sidled over to where the last remnants of a fire were flickering in the hearth. Gingerly he reached out to place another lump of coal on the feeble fire when a voice growled out 'tuch dat zoggin kowl an die, gottit?'
'But itz zoggin freezin boss'
'I doant kare, now sittdown while yer still kan'
'Iz yew upset koz yew ent gunna get Fumbbler o der yer agen?'
'YEW MENSHUN DAT ZOGGIN FIX AGEN AN DEY WILL BE SKRAPIN BITZ O YEW UP WIV A SPOON, RITE?!!!'

A few more miserably cold hours passed before the Great Gobbo shut up the office and Gob Skratchit could race off home through the snow. Muttering to himself the Great Gobbo trudged back to his cave, went in and started cooking his tea. Just as the mug of snot was coming to the boil an eerie and terrifying wailing noise rumbled throughout the cave. The Great Gobbo was frozen to the spot in fear as a ghostly figure drifted through the wall towards him. The ghost had long hair and a Swedish accent, and his body was covered in leads and wires.
'C,C,Christer? Iz dat yew?'
'Wooo! Great Gobbo, you are a selfish ungrateful git for wanting to be Fumbbler of the year after doing bugger all all year. Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts, the ghost of Fumbbl past, the ghost of Fumbbl present and finally the ghost of Fumbbl future. You must change your ways!'
'But wot appened tew you mush?'
'I was crushed by a falling server tower as I tried to upgrade the system again so that all you coaches could enjoy free Blood Bowl. These leads and wires are what mattered to me in life, and so I must carry them around for eternity. You too have a chain, a very long one.'
'I doant kare, so just zog off an get owtta me kave befoar I smakz yer wun, alrite?'
'The first ghost will visit you at midnight tonight' wailed the apparition as it faded away into nothingness.

The Great Gobbo stood still for a moment trying to remember what kind of mushroom he had added to his cup of snot. That was it, he must of added a hallucinogenic mushroom to his meal instead of a normal one and was now tripping off his biscuit. Satisfied, he put an Avalanches cd onto the stereo and passed out in front of the fire in his favourite armchair.

TO BE CONTINUED......