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2017-01-03 09:57:14
3 votes, rating 4.3
GOBLIN SECRET WEAPONS!
Good day coaches!
GW announced to release Goblin miniatures in April. And to give them two new Secret Weapons!

So far anything "new" was received with mixed emotions.

But because of the wonderful suicidal nature of Goblins I think this would be an opportunity to add maybe something fun. And even if the new SW won't satisfy, it is likely that bad dice and bad refs will make sure that the newest creations won't annoy for 16 turns anyway. (Unless they forget to add the Secret Weapon skill, just like they forgot the Loner Skill for Grak)

Personally I see Goblins trying to cheat in order to achieve something that other teams already have, the Pogostick for faster play and Leap, the other 3 existing weapons to gain some penetration power.


I don't like the invention of new skills, I feel like there are enough existing skills that still need to be experienced by Goblins. So I'd like to see new Secret Weapons that focus on those. My humble suggestions: (These are early morning shower ideas, so not really balanced. But I doubt Goblin SW are really balanced anyway.)

SQUIG RIDER/HOPPER
6 4 3 8 Block, Mighty Blow, Pile On, Claw, Wild Animal, No Hands, Bloodlust, Secret Weapon (maybe Frenzy)

The most popular combination of skills in BB seems to have become Clawpomb. Goblins might have their own "Claw" with the Saw, but they really miss this reliable Blitzkiller.
I'd suggest to add a Squig here. With mentioned skill combination (maybe also Frenzy or Frenzy instead of Block) and the negaskills No Hands, Wild Animal and Bloodlust. Bloodlust would be important, traditionally every Secret Weapon must include the risk to seriously damage the own team. And it's not like the Squigs are really domesticated and tamed, they just get tortured with spears and might snap anytime. Goblins are simply too stupid for creating safe working environments.
But that Squig itself would be more like a new star player and not a Secret Weapon anymore. But maybe if it's a Goblin riding on a Squig it could work fluffwise.

(If your mouth is watering by now, there actually exists a complete team of Squig herding Goblins in fumbbl's Stunty League)

Other skills that are missing in Goblin teams but could possibly change their game experience:

Tentacles.. the Goblins are weak, but also too slow to simply run away. So why not find a way to slow the other team down? Nurgle's Beast is doing a wonderful job with those tentacles, Underworld can try something similar with their troll. Of course Goblins don't need Mutations (or rats as teammembers... puke), I am sure they could construct something with a similar effect or grab some snake like animals and bring them on the field. Take Root might be a good negative skill. Shadowing a nice and rare combination.

Hypnotic Gaze.. Only Vampires can use this so far. Goblins could suddenly access cages or free their Trolls from dodging (and then roll just Real Stupid!). Real Stupid would also be the negative skill to go here for. The Goblin might just hypnotise himself. Just give em a stick with a Optical Illusion Spiral. I just tried to google examples, and the results made me dizzy. I have seen those on some playgrounds http://www.kindererlebnis.de/sottrum/scheibe.jpg .


Extra Shower Thought Suggestion:
DIVIN' GOBLIN inducement
Another very Goblin thing to add would be the Diving' Goblin. Experienced Goblin coaches already know the great cage busting technique of simply throwing a Goblin into the the ballcarrier. With a little luck he will either hit the BC itself or one of the surrounding caging players. It's like a weak wizard that sometimes attempts to eat his own fireball.
So why not go one step further and shoot Goblins via Catapult on the pitch? It must be cheaper than the Wizard. But to not make it too cheap, it could also be used to field a replacement player even before the current drive ended. Many games were lost for Goblins because of their weak armour and lack of remaining players on the field. They simply lose too many players per turn, it makes perfectly sense that Goblins don't invest in better armour or safer strategies but think of a cheap and cheating method to refill the ranks. Including of course the risk of damaging the catapulted player thanks to a very bad landing before he could even move once.


So this turned out way longer than I thought, but if you read until here I wonder what you and other coaches would suggest to include new.

Have a nice day
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Comments
Posted by FRSHMN on 2017-01-03 14:30:29
You seem waste a lot of water by showering for hours ;-)

But I like the way you think. I would even second some of your imaginary invented secret weapons... some! :)
Posted by DatMonsta on 2017-01-03 14:40:28
I love your catapult idea and it would make much sense fluff wise!
It could even be placed on the pitch (own endzone?) And you roll before every shot... when you succeed (5+ or so) a gob from the bench sneakers close to it... get hooked to the sling and swish... he is up in the air and down the pitch.
What a chaos for the ref to check that there are more than 11 gob players on the pitch, as they rain from the sky :-D
Posted by pythrr on 2017-01-03 19:16:40
love the catapault

make it so, sir!
Posted by garyt1 on 2017-01-03 23:36:10
Looks fun. The new Ogre Halfling combo is absurdly cheap. Maybe these will be too.
Posted by Nightbird on 2017-01-03 23:49:34
'Ogre/ Halfling combo'???
Posted by garyt1 on 2017-01-04 00:13:04
Google Reddit Grak Bloodbowl.
You get an ogre and halfling for just 210k of inducements. For any race! The Halfling has sure hands and the Ogre has a kick player skill. He can kick right stuff players. No need for a roll to kick or worry about the distance. But the kicked player scatters d6 similar to a kickoff. Then they do a land roll.
Posted by xnoelx on 2017-01-04 03:12:53
The catapult could even just use the Doom Diver model from WFB.