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mgetty (15134)
Win Percentage


2023-09-04 20:45:02
7 votes, rating 6
Windfoot’s Heroics Lead Green Dukes to 2-2 Tie vs. Huskies

Windfoot’s Heroics Lead Green Dukes to 2-2 Tie Vs. Huskies

Sophomore war dancer Angorn Windfoot’s 2 TDs helped the Duqueswood Green Dukes salvage a 2-2 tie against the U. Con. Huskies, avoiding a disastrous third straight loss to start NCBB Season 43. The Huskies controlled much of the second half and were headed for a classic “2-1 grind” victory on TDs from werewolf cornerback Robert "The Bruce" McClain and ghoul wide receiver "LL" Cole "J" Wagner (who urged Huskie fans after the game not to label this a comeback), but a controversial phantom timeout by Duqueswood coach Gerric Smithson gave Windfoot just enough time for the game tying TD.

Windfoot dives across the goal line for the tying score as time expires

“Coach now see I not decoy—I team’s best rainmaker (sic),” said Windfoot after the game, still struggling to master the human tongue (we assume by rainmaker he meant “playmaker,” but it is possible he was referring to the ancient elven forest-management art of cloud coaxing). “While Spinny-leaf busy running all over the field like squirrel, I make scores needed to save season.”

The Green Dukes got on the scoreboard first with a chaotic and disorganized touchdown drive that was nearly compromised by junior war dancer Mirlin Spinleaf’s (tree-bark studies) speedy but haphazard downfield route running. When junior thrower Elehorn Oakhand (quantitative acorn analytics) received the opening kickoff, he jogged toward his own endzone in what looked to be a classic Dakka, drop-back-style play. However, when Spinleaf immediately charged downfield, looking much faster than he’d been in previous games, the rest of the Green Dukes didn’t fall back to block for Oakhand, but instead ran up field, following Spinleaf’s manic lead.

The confusing formation failed to create any openings, as U. Con.’s necromantic squad swarmed the spread-out and isolated elves, seriously injuring or knocking out five Green Dukes midway through the half. Meanwhile, Spinleaf zig-zagged from one side of the field to the other, out-running the defense at times, but never truly breaking free from double coverage.

“I wasn’t sure what Mirlin was up to, but I trust my captain,” said Oakhand, whose two completions in the game have him now tied for second in the NCBB. “If he ran too far for me to even be able to reach him with a pass, that’s my fault, not his. I just need to learn to throw the ball farther.”

With a growling McClain charging toward Oakhand and frothing at the mouth, the Duqueswood thrower had to do something. So he sprinted toward midfield, and hit Foren Longweed ’27 (mystical fauna studies) with a quick pass. Of course, Longweed had nowhere to go with the ball, and Huskie wraith Shamar Stephen was breathing down his neck (with the icy cold breath of death itself). As Longweed dodged away and ran up field toward a double-covered Windfoot, the play seemed to be headed for a turnover. But Windfoot was miraculously able to take the hand-off cleanly from Longweed, kick one Huskie defender in the chest, dodge away from another, and scamper into the endzone.

A panicked Longweed looks for anyone to hand the ball to, as Stephen’s ghostly form closes in on him

Accused of relying too heavily on “Elf B.S.” for the score, Smithson insisted the play went according to plan. “I’m not familiar with that term, ‘bee ess’, ” he said during a testy postgame press conference. “Is that Elvish? Because, you know I don’t speak Elvish, thank you very much. But look, when you’re writing up plays on a pond with a magic blade of grass, they ain’t always gonna look pretty.”

Fortunately for Duqueswood, the confusing play did seem to take up enough time to prevent U. Con. from scoring before halftime, but another questionable move by Spinleaf opened the door for McClain’s tying score. With time winding down, Spinleaf was in position to chain-push star player Wilhelm Cheney into McClain so that McClain would be unable to score before the halftime whistle. However, when Spinleaf made the curious decision to aggressively grab Cheney rather than push him, Cheney was able to wrestle the war dancer to the turf without giving up any ground, and McLain found the endzone just before halftime.

An enraged Spinleaf with a suspicious green dust-like substance on his face chooses to attack rather than push Cheney, allowing McClain to score before half time

The second half saw the Huskies milk the clock on a bruising drive that produced three more casualties and gave them the lead with seconds left on the clock. Duqueswood’s only option seemed to be a desperate elven “un tirn tee dee,” but Smithson, who’d already used all his timeouts called a timeout as the kick was in the air. The referee mistakenly awarded the timeout, which gave the Green Dukes enough time to score on a more conventional passing play, which saw Oakhand connect with Windfoot, who ran forward in a cage of blockers and then sprinted for the endzone, diving across the goal line as the final whistle blew.

Despite squeaking out a tie to save the season, Smithson grew enraged during the postgame press conference when questions turned to the strange behavior of his star war dancer Spinleaf, who was not made available for comment. When asked whether Spinleaf’s increased speed and strange behavior after working with controversial skaven speed and agility coach Skreet Cheeseclaw could be a symptom warpstone-dust abuse, Smithson insisted the war dancer’s strange play was a result of his coaching and shouted at the scribes, “Are you kidding me!? Where are we at in the realm today. You want to come after someone, come after me! I’m a man! I’m 40!”

Coach Smithson shouts at scribes in the postgame press conference, insisting that they shouldn’t criticize a young 180-year old elf, but instead should, “Come after me! I'm a man! I’m 40!”

Though it’s unclear what Smithson’s age has to do with the issue, it is clear that the NCBB will be keeping a close eye on Spinleaf in upcoming games.

Next up the Green Dukes will continue their search for the first win of the season against the Mz State Bull Dawgz, a dangerous orc squad, currently undefeated on the season.
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Posted by spelledaren on 2023-09-10 07:36:33
Haha :D