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Muff2n
Last seen 1 hour ago
Human
Legend
Human
Record
18/11/9
Win Percentage
62%
Orc
Star
Orc
Record
10/7/7
Win Percentage
56%
Overall
Super Star
Overall
Record
48/30/34
Win Percentage
56%
Archive

2021

2021-04-18 20:51:20
rating 5.2
2021-04-07 19:30:59
rating 5.7
2021-03-26 22:54:46
rating 5.6
2021-03-21 22:38:11
rating 5.8
2021-03-05 15:49:18
rating 5.9
2021-02-23 12:33:45
rating 6
2021-01-28 20:06:41
rating 5.9
2021-01-08 21:52:23
rating 5.6

2020

2020-12-18 21:22:22
rating 4.3
2020-12-09 22:08:03
rating 5.6
2020-11-28 22:41:04
rating 5.3
2020-11-25 19:40:50
rating 4
2020-08-07 14:14:47
rating 1.5

2019

2019-12-19 13:35:00
rating 4.4
2021-03-21 22:38:11
11 votes, rating 5.8
BoCK - Anatomy of: An Orc
Welcome all to the latest installment. This week the Beasts of Crimson Keep (1-1-1) took on the Grimbonian Giantz (0-3-0). Against bash teams, I find it is important to keep a positive mindset no matter what. When most of your team is eating dirt, keeping a smile on your face can encourage your players and help them to feel that everything is fine.

P.S. No longer have a windows machine, I am recording on gifcam using wine and some funny boxes have appeared in some gifs. Apologies in advance.





For this match we were joined by The Black Knight. Apparently he and the orcs have some history that needed attending to. Sir Corduin and Sir Giles - our best players - promptly threw a huffy about being upstaged by this esteemed player.





...And they were not seen again all match.

No reason to worry! What do you do when you are down in numbers and strength against orcs? Why you go for a 'Power Play' of course. Yes, turn 3 is a bit early to be making desperate runs, but it has always worked so well before. Send in the two thralls!





Actually that's more like how it typically goes come to think of it.

No reason to worry! The ball is loose so we have a turn to recover before the stampede of orcs hits. An assist here, a blitz there, and the ball can be safely picked up.





No reason to worry! Just because the ball is in the hands of a Str 4 blitzer doesn't necessarily mean that we are completely, utterly screwed. New recruit Rasult is at hand. If she can just -2D things will be fine.





Yes Rasult! What a debut. She had been furious when Merneith was picked ahead of her. Well now Merenith is in the grave (again) and Rasult is making the bold plays. Sticken Anna manages to take the ball a few precious squares closer before she's thumped again. But she's still alive and kicking after suffering 3 big takedowns. Can Anna save the day again and will Rasult stay on the pitch?





Yes and yes! Clearly Nuffle is with us. Also the Black Knight has given Bozlog the slip again (why is Bozlog following him around anyway? What is he, a fan?) and is now offering the semblance of protection. Will his Nerves of Steel (an actual skill that he possesses) come in useful?





Oh ho ho ho! We might just win this flipping game.

With a score this late in the half, the orcs are unable to equalise before the half time bongo bangs. In the second half they score a quick and brutal TD. But these are my highlights, and I say that we don't want to see that. We pickup the action H2T5 with both teams going pedal to the metal for the win. Stricken Anna is making another run up the pitch, and is once again wondering where her support has gotten to. My goodness I need to get better at screening. I don't think relying on -2D blocks and double skulls is going to work out long term.





Nothing to worry about! Just because an angry black orc has the ball... err, well at least Anna shows her grit and has stayed on the pitch.





The Black Knight and Stricken Anna make a fearsome duo. However they struggle against the tide of orcs and are forced to fall back. We rejoin the play in turn 7. With time running out the orcs (blitzer Varag Dinaz) are close enough to score - any mistake now could cost the game. Almost all the Beasts of Crimson Keep players are marked, but Sir Reynard the Despot has no shadow and is waiting down pitch for the hail mary. All eyes are on Anna. *Bongo roll*





Well there we have it. A match that could have gone either way right up to the final bongo beat. Was there a more entertaining game in the whole of CIBBL round 4? I think not.





Beast to watch:

Cor he's good isn't he. That was a game saving sack he pulled off in the second half. For sure the next time we are in need we will call upon his fine services.

Beast of the match:

Sir Reynard the Despot. He had excellent pitch presence, at least compared to the other two shirkers. If it feels like he was awarded it by default, that's absolutely correct, thralls and such drivel are not eligible.

Credit goes to the whole of the BoCK supporting cast. They took a beating this match, and took it well with a grin on their faces.

Join us next week as we throttle some slann. Rumour has it that a new knight will be taking the pitch. Any missing persons reported from Bretonnia lately who might give us a clue?
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Comments
Posted by bram on 2021-03-22 15:26:47
I love these reports!