Welcome to this week's 'Anatomy of'. The publication where we give you - the lowly masses - the whole picture, and don't solely focus on our own positives. Admittedly this is not due to journalistic integrity but because I want to have something to talk about.
Today we analyise the 'avoid coming last' duel against the Scions of Neferata
. Some uncharitable readers may be surprised to see a good team rubbing with the likes of us. But the Scions faced some tough opposition last year and have taken on board some newbies who haven't really learned the ropes yet. However they still field two legends who pose a unique threat: Ahmose
. Will this cold blooded duo prove to be a spur in the poorly tuned BoCK machine?
The team was pleasingly heavy firsted, and swiftly went 4-0 up in the removals minigame (sorry CPOMB lovers, the macro game). Although the ladies were hard pressed to impede our progress, they were furious about the magnificent mane of hair that Sir Corduin possesses and were self concious about their own lesser locks. Let's see whether they could get even.
The first real attempt was survived and the knights beat the ladies back. A last ditch attempt to expose Sir Corduin's lack of finess by sticking a Mv8 shadower on him was all they could muster.
Nothing that couldn't be resolved with some good chain pushing.
Or alternatively a botched chain push and some luck. Either work in this magnificent game.
Yet again the dirty opposition lined up for a 1TTD. It appears that you can either have honor or success in CIBBL - certainly not both. However we had learned from last week and had a tactic prepared. Step forward Terrible Ivan. A zombie so awful at BB that betting on his performances has been banned*. So basically we put him on the line and let him do his thing.
*It used to be customary for fans to wager on the number of times he would hit the floor during a match. One fateful fixture he not only tripped over before the starting gong banged, but upon a receiving a block from a particularily docile gnoblar he went down and split right up the middle into two. During the ensuing riots several bookies were sawn in half as angry punters presented their side of the argument.
Good on ya Ivan.
As a pre match precaution, I had arranged for the Scions' smellying salts to be switched with chloroform*. Consequently the poor Laminahs failed to revive any KO'd players. This all played into our special strategy for the second half. Over the winter 'friendlies', the Aethyric Humours
generously had taught us a lesson.
*Purely hypothetically speaking
Lesson: The fewer players on the pitch, the harder it is to stop a TD. We thank the Humours for this good humored lesson and hope that one day we are able to contribute some teachings in return. Here's our humble attempt.
That blasted 12th man the other teams always get to field. If we score then the ref won't let us foul, and if we foul we aren't allowed to score. Outrageous. Practially Sophie's choice. I've never played in a league as ridiculous as this.
Now to those of you who think it is pretty rude to be pitch clearing, I had explicitly stated last week that we were going to be out to hurt things this week. I'm sure everyone reads these, so the Scions were fairly warned. Plus we were sort of out for revenge for the death of Irakil. I say sort of because I neglected to try save him with the wandering apothecary, so I'm sort of complicit in his death too. That damn CIBBL kill count is getting to me, I want to do my bit.
We're up next against a team whom of which I do not know what to make. Those of you who like inducements look away now. The Corpse Run Nightmares
bring claw (boo) and blodge (boo), but every time they nibble on a disgusting thrall that's loadsaTV. Be there on the 14th at 2100 to find out what happens.