The Coat Man
I want to court controversy again and release an expose on Colonel Yeppins!
And yes, I know that no one should ever pay attention to goblins, not least when there are orcs to talk about. But I can scarcely believe that Yeppins is a goblin, for his mind is forged of steel. In my illustrious career as a BB photographer, one of my proudest photos managed to capture Yeppins' spirit. You see, when the orcs say that they like fighting, they mean against weaker opposition. When it comes to squaring off against gigantic monsters, a player with real heart is called for. Step forward Colonel Yeppins!
We could all use some of Yeppins' self confidence. And he could use some realism.
Most goblins are content to lurk at the back, and only emerge to boot a downed foe, but not the Colonel! After all, the Shamoozle Kaboos don't need another player to hide behind Squeezle and crumple to the weakest of blows - they have Milligan the Easter for that. Let's take a look at how his self belief translates into action on the pitch.
Hmm mixed success (he's good for a goblin, but he's still only a goblin). Although he's often unconscious come the final whistle, Yeppins is tenacious and always ready for a challenge. Every BB team could use such a player. Let's check out a Colonel Yeppins special (And yes, it is mostly a about Centipede Joe's supreme determination to keep a hold of the ball. That's just the part and parcel of producing documentaries about a team with such a talented player.)
We join the action as the Shamoozle Kaboosare trailing 1-0 in the second half. All eyes are on Centipede Joe as he begins his drive. Initially CJ is caught off guard and beaten back by the savagery of the halfling defence (all eager to win the MVP cake - 20 layers, nearly twice their own body weight. It requires at least four halflings to move, although curiously, only one to eat). As he attempts to switch from the right flank to the left, Colonel Jeppins plays a crucial supporting role. A part that requires equal parts courage, and a first-hand understanding of the flight trajectory of a BB player.
Show me another goblin who will dive in front of the ball carrier to take a metaphorical bullet! It's just a pity that his amazing attitude is constrained in a goblin's body.