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2021-04-18 20:51:20
rating 5.2
2021-04-07 19:30:59
rating 5.7
2021-03-26 22:54:46
rating 5.6
2021-03-21 22:38:11
rating 5.8
2021-03-05 15:49:18
rating 5.9
2021-02-23 12:33:45
rating 6
2021-01-28 20:06:41
rating 5.9
2021-01-08 21:52:23
rating 5.6


2020-12-18 21:22:22
rating 4.3
2020-12-09 22:08:03
rating 5.6
2020-11-28 22:41:04
rating 5.3
2020-11-25 19:40:50
rating 4
2020-08-07 14:14:47
rating 1.5


2019-12-19 13:35:00
rating 4.4
2021-02-23 12:33:45
21 votes, rating 6
BoCK - Anatomy of: A Witch Elf
In this first edition of 'Anatomy of' we analyse your actual favourite CIBBL team - the Beasts of Crimson Keep. Today we bring you a match against the Hyanda En' I' Kuruni Aran. This was a real thriller, featuring steady grinding bash, elf bull****, and glaring mistakes.

Against elves I like to get caught out early by their ability to move like water and concede a TD as fast as possible. The key here is to concede very early so that I can recover for a 2-1 grind.

Were my players even there at all? I love it when a plan comes together.

The BoCK struck back with a nice grind and the elves couldn't take the heat (what I'm trying to say is that this drive was made possible by 3 elves having heat stroke).

Gaze here, gaze over there, pow the blodge stepper and walk it in. Damn I'm good.

Over to the second half and it looks as though the elves mean business.

Don't believe their lies, their trickery! They don't care for brawling and move the ball like lightning.

Who left those snakes on the pitch?! I treated this offering from Nuffle with humility and severity. Let's get as many players back as possible.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I had badly misread the situation. Nuffle wasn't offering me the ball, he was offering me a foul. And by spiteing him I deserve his wrath :(

Things were not looking good. 11 elves still on the pitch and 2-1 down. But we're very experience at this; we've been losing positions since before you were born. Assemble the formation and let the knights advance like an unstoppable force! Cut 4 turns later to this:

Why oh why does this keep happening to me? In what world is my 'power play' consisting of two measly thralls ever going to work?

Beast to watch:

He was awarded the prestigious 'Tipple X' award for his services to bloodletting. It was only two matches ago that he claimed the Youngbloods' Blocking Scorer. He's one to watch. Seriously. The more you watch, the better we play.

Beast of the match:

Yet again, the MVP goes to Lady Lenore's favourite. She has a real soft spot for Sir Gilles the Fallen. He's a lucky boy, because I don't know what else he has going for him.

Learning points:
- Trying to control the whole pitch vs a mobile team means you control nothing.
- When a blodge stepper carrying a niggle hits the ground, for the love of Nuffle give them a kicking.
- Sidelines aren't the best place to be, especially against frenzy. Always leave the middle as an option for the ball carrier.

For this week's homework the team has to write a scroll depicting all 252 of Vima's fouls. Join us live next week to find out if they learned anything. Seriously! The more spectators we have the more money we earn. And I need a 4th vampire before I meet those big orc and khemri teams.
Rate this entry
Posted by sokeeffe on 2021-02-23 14:22:11
Fabulous stuff!
Posted by bram on 2021-02-23 14:33:03
Very entertaining!
Posted by Aniur on 2021-02-23 14:33:04
6/6 - Laughed several times : D (and I even specced the match live)
Posted by babinto on 2021-02-23 14:34:23
very nice reading!
Posted by DaCoach on 2021-02-24 14:49:12
That is one of the coolest match reports I have ever read.
Posted by BeanBelly on 2021-02-24 16:15:44
Really fun report - nice work!
Posted by Muff2n on 2021-02-24 17:13:43
Thank you for your kind comments. I'm glad it was enjoyed.
Posted by garyt1 on 2021-03-29 03:29:08
Great fun to read and see!