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JackassRampant
Last seen 1 hour ago
Human
Legend
Human
Record
283/131/120
Win Percentage
65%
Orc
Super Star
Orc
Record
109/45/60
Win Percentage
61%
Overall
[R]
Legend
Overall
Record
733/275/315
Win Percentage
66%
Archive

2020

2020-09-15 16:46:13
rating 4.5
2020-09-11 04:42:53
rating 5.5
2020-08-17 18:43:44
rating 4.1
2020-08-17 18:37:25
rating 4.6
2020-08-17 18:08:41
rating 4.3
2020-08-17 17:54:03
rating 4
2020-02-26 04:54:58
rating 4.6
2020-02-25 17:53:07
rating 4.4
2020-02-22 18:18:59
rating 4.8
2020-02-22 17:32:27
rating 5
2020-02-19 18:01:17
rating 5.8
2020-02-18 21:21:00
rating 5.9

2019

2019-12-29 14:51:03
rating 5.2
2019-12-08 03:14:34
rating 5.9
2019-10-23 18:17:17
rating 5.3
2019-09-30 19:39:21
rating 5.7
2019-02-28 16:21:11
rating 5.8
2019-02-16 05:05:46
rating 1.8
2019-02-12 20:33:16
rating 1.7
2019-02-07 08:57:24
rating 1.3
2019-02-06 17:07:28
rating 2.6
2019-01-05 20:10:51
rating 5.6

2018

2017

2017-12-13 15:36:46
rating 5
2017-10-15 02:50:34
rating 4.3
2017-09-30 21:52:56
rating 5
2017-09-10 23:00:16
rating 4.9
2017-08-30 19:29:39
rating 6
2017-06-25 21:10:09
rating 5.4
2017-02-14 20:41:13
rating 4.6
2017-02-09 04:15:51
rating 4.3
2017-02-01 16:35:03
rating 3.5
2017-01-09 06:48:33
rating 5.8
2017-01-03 22:26:31
rating 2.8

2016

2016-10-26 16:39:39
rating 5.9
2016-10-06 01:38:35
rating 5.5
2016-07-02 01:18:38
rating 4.3
2016-06-28 18:54:58
rating 3.5
2016-01-28 08:12:39
rating 4.6
2016-01-27 18:15:53
rating 6

2015

2015-08-22 17:42:52
rating 2.4
2015-01-26 16:45:18
rating 5

2014

2014-10-01 03:51:24
rating 4.4
2014-03-14 17:58:34
rating 5
2014-03-12 19:49:16
rating 4.2
2014-02-27 02:15:42
rating 4.3

2013

2013-10-24 16:16:38
rating 4.5
2013-10-16 05:15:52
rating 4.9
2013-10-14 23:39:13
rating 4.8
2013-10-10 00:50:25
rating 4.1
2013-09-24 01:51:44
rating 4.2
2013-09-13 21:36:27
rating 4.2
2013-09-12 20:11:38
rating 5.9
2013-05-16 21:39:45
rating 2.1
2013-03-02 19:45:11
rating 3.9
2013-02-10 21:10:12
rating 4
2013-01-18 06:45:04
rating 4.2

2012

2012-10-30 21:01:49
rating 2.3
2012-10-18 17:10:07
rating 1.6
2012-08-26 17:16:17
rating 2.3
2012-01-09 00:47:16
rating 2.8

2011

2011-12-09 19:37:22
rating 3.3
2011-11-09 17:54:17
rating 4
2011-11-05 20:10:25
rating 4.8
2011-11-04 20:59:28
rating 3.9
2011-11-04 16:39:57
rating 4.6
2011-11-03 05:19:08
rating 2.2
2011-09-21 09:08:03
rating 3.2
2011-08-14 14:51:08
rating 3.8
2011-11-07 17:07:26
13 votes, rating 4.8
Face Win in Overtime, Controversy Over NA[F]ET Staffing
Eastern Black Mountain University — A three-hour epic ended in cheers, shock, and controversy, as upstart coach JackassRampant (159.07, 84-37-50) and Morkite Kultist team Right in da Face (12-6-9, 1.72M) delivered a hard-fought knockout punch to the mighty Spubbbba (177.35, 658-221-284) and Not Another
Elf Team (10-4-5, 2.07M) in 23.5 turns of brutal positioning grind, finished on a chainpush.

Before the match, there had been speculation that the Face would bring in the Wizard Elfmincer, along with Urgoth Bolgrot; this had been bolstered by rumors of an agreement between the team and the agent for te designated referee, Horgan Dorganborg. But Dorganborg was injured the day before the match, and instead Ripper the Troll stepped in admirably, inflicting a Casualty, making at least two key Grab pushes, and substituting for injured Troll Ace of Swords in overtime.

The Face won the coin toss and opted to kick. For several turns, NA[F]ET found themselves stymied by the brutal Face defense, but eventually the newest Face Blitzer, Ten of Cups, made a pair of positioning errors that the elves were able to capitalize on for a Turn 8 score. The Orcs successfully chainpushed their way into 1TTD position using only blocks, but the kick went very deep and the pass/handoff/1d blitz/GFI/GFI was just too daunting; Ten of Cups again let his team down by failing a catch.

In the second half, the orcs received, and after a nasty scrum, they found themselves unable to advance the cage beyond the line. The nimble Knight of Rods had to use both Dodge and Side Step to score, especially after a chainpush blitz attempt failed, but score he did, and the game was to go to the wire. The elves knocked out the Ace of Swords in the final turn, but failed to generate a touchdown for the win.

The Face won the coin-toss in overtime, and opted to receive. The elves got great pressure, and even knocked the ball free once, but the sure-handed Ace of Cups got it back. The Orc cage was to hold after that, and on the final turn of Overtime, the Ten of Cups redeemed himself by chain-pushing Ten of Coins into scoring position. Two Go For It rolls and a completed 4+ Long Pass later, the Orcs won this three-hour epic.

The game was terribly long; JackassRampant is known for agonizing over simple decisions, and a frustrated Spubbbba had to take more than a little thinking time, too. The brave fans who sat through the entire epic, more [i]Lord of the Rings[/i] than [i]the Longest Yard[/i], were mostly on the side of the elves, especially when Ace of Swords opted not to push a player into the crowd in the second half.

Face coach JackassRampant was excited, but only guardedly optimistic, about the match and its outcome. "The crowd noise was great: I think my players really responded well to the unfriendly crowd. I made a couple small positioning mistakes, but I only really paid a price for a bad couple actions in the middle of the first half. Got to get better: my luck was mostly good when it counted, and I can't rely on that."

This game was not without a fair share of controversy. Before the match, NA[F]ET arrived with far more medical staff and equipment than they were allowed under the revised Blood Bowl rules, and several of their potions were deemed "performance enhancers" under the new contract.

Early in the second half, Knight of Swords speared NA[F]ET player Champions of Nature, breaking his back. Though the team Apothecary was able to save the player, the injury is still gruesome and may affect Champions of Nature's career. "If I'd had my old potions, I know I would have saved him tremendous pain," said team doctor Rabaek FC. "He will have to live with that pain for, gosh, millennia perhaps."

After the match, Coach Spubbbba gave no press conference, instead darting out on a Pegasus for an important meeting of the Silver Council. When pressed, he said only, "it's late. This may have been the longest game I've ever played."

The only player available for comment after the match was lineman Celebridades, whose twisted ankle did not permit him to get off the field before we could clobber him with a microphone. "Weird team. Not as slobbery as I thought they'd be, but still just as obnoxious. They were holding us and playing the clock all game," he said. "And then the [expletive] about the medical staff and Champions. I mean, I know it's a tough game, but it's like the league doesn't care about player safety anymore. Ugh. I need a bath in lily-water and a few sips of nectar. Maybe a good pollen powdering. Where's my nectar-boy?"

Spubbbba is out of the FUMBBL Cup tournament in the first round, a rare disappointment for him. Said coach JackassRampant, "It's sad to see a great coach like Spubbbba take a good-old-fashioned team and go nowhere. I'd rather have knocked out some boxy ClawPOMBer. But them's the breaks." Right in da Face play the winner of the match between Golgoth (Orc, 11-0-2, 1580k; coach Oazard 161.24, 127-54-123) and Let's Tour A Bit (Amazon, 49-15-22, 2190k; coach Hollaender 151.65, 1085-513-904).
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Comments
Posted by GAZZATROT on 2011-11-07 17:44:06
As stated a Looooong game, probably more one for the tactical purists out there. I have to say I enjoyed the drawn out nature of the slog, even if I have to blame you for the lack of sleep watching it (I live in S.A. timezone and am up at 5A.M.)!

But hell, it's your game after all and people don't have to watch.... but many did... Well done lads. :)
Posted by JackassRampant on 2011-11-07 17:48:14
Fortunately, replays are at standard speed. The replay should only be half again as long as any other replay, like 8 minutes instead of 5.
Posted by JackassRampant on 2011-11-07 17:57:37
Oh, and while I'd like to get faster, until I do, ANY game I play will be better in the replay. But man, is that frustrating. I've nearly accomplished my first set of speed objectives (no more than 25% turns > 3M, no more than one time whistle per match), but the games take almost as long anyway.

One thing I find frustrating is that I see how FUMBBL wants me to structure my turns, but in implementing it there's a learning curve, which slows me down again. So it almost feels like I have to get slower in order to get faster.

It would be easier if I sucked. I definitely have room to improve, and in fact I see how the things that will make me faster (learning to go with my original plan no matter what would probably have prevented the TD in this game and cut the game time by a third at least), but I'm good enough to go toe-to-toe with anybody, and I feel a little trepidity when I think about significant changes to my play-style.

Some of the slowness may also be my laptop interface (that's probably why I misclick so much), and doubtless some of it is that any game against me turns into a war of position and dilemma, which slows down my opponent. Still, if that 45-minute benchmark is real, I should usually get 16 turns in in about an hour or an hour and ten, and I'm just not there.
Posted by Garion on 2011-11-07 17:58:22
Hehe, I said it would be a long one on that TFF thread. Still... didn't think it would go on this long :S

gratz
Posted by soranos on 2011-11-07 21:35:12
grats on the win, matt
Posted by JackassRampant on 2011-11-08 01:23:18
Oazard beats Hollaender, setting up a mirror-match between Golgoth and Right in da Face, two light, nimble mid-value Orc teams!
Posted by Oazard on 2011-11-08 11:22:08
Defeating one zon team was not enough. I got to face green ladies now. My players got some special motivations to play some orcazons.
As Tori say "Female orcs cook little boy at home for big trolls, bowls forbidden to female orcs"
Forget about the cup, my men are on a mission. Let s make sure those ladies go back home.
Posted by JackassRampant on 2011-11-08 19:59:37
Oh, they're not female; hence the names "king of...". Orcs don't have gender; they reproduce through spores emitted when excited or injured. They're "Orcazons" in that they're Dodge-heavy.