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JackassRampant
Last seen 54 minutes ago
Human
Legend
Human
Record
283/131/120
Win Percentage
65%
Orc
Super Star
Orc
Record
109/45/60
Win Percentage
61%
Overall
[R]
Legend
Overall
Record
733/275/315
Win Percentage
66%
Archive

2020

2020-09-15 16:46:13
rating 4.5
2020-09-11 04:42:53
rating 5.5
2020-08-17 18:43:44
rating 4.1
2020-08-17 18:37:25
rating 4.6
2020-08-17 18:08:41
rating 4.3
2020-08-17 17:54:03
rating 4
2020-02-26 04:54:58
rating 4.6
2020-02-25 17:53:07
rating 4.4
2020-02-22 18:18:59
rating 4.8
2020-02-22 17:32:27
rating 5
2020-02-19 18:01:17
rating 5.8
2020-02-18 21:21:00
rating 5.9

2019

2019-12-29 14:51:03
rating 5.2
2019-12-08 03:14:34
rating 5.9
2019-10-23 18:17:17
rating 5.3
2019-09-30 19:39:21
rating 5.7
2019-02-28 16:21:11
rating 5.8
2019-02-16 05:05:46
rating 1.8
2019-02-12 20:33:16
rating 1.7
2019-02-07 08:57:24
rating 1.3
2019-02-06 17:07:28
rating 2.6
2019-01-05 20:10:51
rating 5.6

2018

2017

2017-12-13 15:36:46
rating 5
2017-10-15 02:50:34
rating 4.3
2017-09-30 21:52:56
rating 5
2017-09-10 23:00:16
rating 4.9
2017-08-30 19:29:39
rating 6
2017-06-25 21:10:09
rating 5.4
2017-02-14 20:41:13
rating 4.6
2017-02-09 04:15:51
rating 4.3
2017-02-01 16:35:03
rating 3.5
2017-01-09 06:48:33
rating 5.8
2017-01-03 22:26:31
rating 2.8

2016

2016-10-26 16:39:39
rating 5.9
2016-10-06 01:38:35
rating 5.5
2016-07-02 01:18:38
rating 4.3
2016-06-28 18:54:58
rating 3.5
2016-01-28 08:12:39
rating 4.6
2016-01-27 18:15:53
rating 6

2015

2015-08-22 17:42:52
rating 2.4
2015-01-26 16:45:18
rating 5

2014

2014-10-01 03:51:24
rating 4.4
2014-03-14 17:58:34
rating 5
2014-03-12 19:49:16
rating 4.2
2014-02-27 02:15:42
rating 4.3

2013

2013-10-24 16:16:38
rating 4.5
2013-10-16 05:15:52
rating 4.9
2013-10-14 23:39:13
rating 4.8
2013-10-10 00:50:25
rating 4.1
2013-09-24 01:51:44
rating 4.2
2013-09-13 21:36:27
rating 4.2
2013-09-12 20:11:38
rating 5.9
2013-05-16 21:39:45
rating 2.1
2013-03-02 19:45:11
rating 3.9
2013-02-10 21:10:12
rating 4
2013-01-18 06:45:04
rating 4.2

2012

2012-10-30 21:01:49
rating 2.3
2012-10-18 17:10:07
rating 1.6
2012-08-26 17:16:17
rating 2.3
2012-01-09 00:47:16
rating 2.8

2011

2011-12-09 19:37:22
rating 3.3
2011-11-09 17:54:17
rating 4
2011-11-05 20:10:25
rating 4.8
2011-11-04 20:59:28
rating 3.9
2011-11-04 16:39:57
rating 4.6
2011-11-03 05:19:08
rating 2.2
2011-09-21 09:08:03
rating 3.2
2011-08-14 14:51:08
rating 3.8
2013-10-24 16:16:38
8 votes, rating 4.5
Redheads: Special Pitch Art for Week 11
Flashington — Flashington Redheads coach J. Rampant announced today that the division-leading Redheads would debut special pitch art for their Week 11 NBFL match against the Dallas Dendrophiliacs tonight.

In a press conference, Rampant said the new art was in honor of Redheads' inaugural draft pick and motivational leader T. Kozlowski, who had been killed in Week 11 last season on a meaningless Turn-16 block by the Nawlins Angst.

"Week Eleven is a special week for us here in Flashington," said coach Rampant. "We'll always remember the spirit and vigor Koz brought to the game, and we're gonna come out and do her memory proud tonight."

The Redheads hired a new player with Kozlowski's #1 jersey number, a Blitzer named L. Fletcher, ahead of the Week 10 matchup vs. the New York Ants. The Ants, however, were unable to prepare their stadium adequately, and had to forfeit the match. As a result, Fletcher will make her debut appearance on the anniversary of the loss of the previous #1. "I'm excited," she said. "I know the expectations are there, and I'm going to go out and get it done!"

Redheads players were abuzz about the game, but the pitch art didn't seem to be their first concern. "This is a division contest, and we take these games seriously," said team captain J. Riggins. "We don't doubt they remember the hurt we put on them last time, and we're gonna do it again. Both teams need this game, so we're bringing it all."

Kickoff is between 7 and 7:30pm Pacific time, 10-10:30 Eastern (Friday 04:00-04:30 server time). The expansion Dendrophiliacs sport a 3-0-7 record, and this is a must-win game for the Wood-Elves if they are to stay alive in the comparatively soft NFC sixth-seed wildcard hunt. Flashington (4-4-2) is not far ahead of the 4-3-4 Philhala Arni (who probably get a forfeit win next), and will need wins to assure a playoff seed. Flashington leads the head-to-head series 1-0 against both teams.

"Coach oneturnscore has an excellent sense of space," said Rampant. "Our women know how important positioning discipline will be against the elves. As always against low-AV teams, we're going to do a lot of blocking and locking, try to get the numbers game going, make 'em expose [star Wardancer Victor] Butler, give him a date with [fouler J.] Theismann's cleats. It worked last time, but we know we gotta do it right or we'll get elfed."

Flashington Fans' Dallas Notes

No Unfamiliar Faces: Dallas's top two draft picks, Desiree Deathblow and Leroy Hater, were both drafted as cagebreakers, exactly the kind of player the Redheads hate. Sadly, both were crippled by the Denver Mile Under Club in cross-conference play the week before they were to face the Redheads, and both have since retired from the NBFL. "Many Redheads fans were as disappointed as I am to learn that I won't be able to cover Leroy Hater or Desiree Deathblow this season," said star Flashington defender K. Kahaku-Enhada, the sole survivor of the inaugural Redheads' draft class. "That's okay," she added with a smile. "Elves are elves. I'll always have a body in front of me."

The Butler Has To Do It: Dallas star Victor Butler has been on a tear since his awful outing against Flashington in the last series, and has been working on his tackling discipline in advance of this game. "I hate those girls," he said. "Sitting there on the sidelines, watching that thrashing, then next week not being able to go and seeing my teammates humiliated by New York, I just can't let that happen again."

NFC East Update

Ants Forfeiting Out?: The division rival New York Ants may be done, folks. Certainly, at 1-0-9, with top draft choice Robert Faun dead, their season is in wind-up mode, but a lack of fan attendance at Ants games means the team is broke, and cannot afford to fix damage done to their stadium after their 3-0 Week 7 home win against Dallas. It is unclear at this point if the team will fold, rebuild, or just take an offseason to recover.

Philhala Ready Already: The loss of the Ants from the league means the Philhala Arni are more or less ready to take on the Redheads as their next opponent, even though Flashington has to play both Dallas and the Green Ball Attackers first. The Arni have a number of players on the cusp of improvement, and their linemen seem to have been building specifically with Flashington in mind: this Week 13 matchup is one to circle on your calendar.
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Comments
Posted by JimmyFantastic on 2013-10-24 20:12:27
Tldr
Posted by Jeffro on 2013-10-25 00:44:06
Suck it, Jimmy. TL?DC ;)

Nice fluff, nice recap, JR.
Posted by robocoyote on 2013-10-25 01:25:17
Denver sends more to the mile under club
Posted by Synn on 2013-10-25 04:31:27
8 Guard zons...

That team is absolutely awesome.

__Synn
Posted by JackassRampant on 2013-10-26 04:06:42
:)

Game rescheduled for either tonight or Tuesday.