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The_Great_Gobbo
Last seen 12 weeks ago
Goblin
Experienced
Goblin
Record
41/39/645
Win Percentage
8%
Orc
Emerging Star
Orc
Record
13/3/17
Win Percentage
44%
Overall
[R]
Veteran
Overall
Record
54/42/661
Win Percentage
10%
Archive

2018

2018-01-05 12:15:30
rating 5.4

2017

2017-12-27 16:43:51
rating 5.5
2017-03-01 21:20:56
rating 6

2016

2016-12-12 17:33:50
rating 5.9
2016-12-08 21:04:33
rating 6
2016-12-07 21:09:17
rating 6
2016-12-06 17:59:32
rating 6
2016-10-06 08:51:41
rating 5.7
2016-04-20 19:06:50
rating 5.8
2016-01-18 08:46:18
rating 5.8

2015

2015-12-24 12:58:46
rating 5.4
2015-10-12 15:43:14
rating 6
2015-10-05 15:10:52
rating 6
2015-10-01 14:42:06
rating 6
2015-08-06 15:36:54
rating 5.7
2015-07-17 00:28:10
rating 5.8
2015-07-15 15:22:22
rating 6
2015-06-30 11:54:03
rating 5.9
2015-04-22 14:17:08
rating 5.6
2015-04-20 12:52:18
rating 5.6
2015-04-10 01:05:15
rating 5.5
2015-03-17 00:43:05
rating 5.7
2015-03-12 14:31:14
rating 6
2015-03-11 00:24:39
rating 5.8
2015-03-04 13:54:35
rating 6
2015-03-02 15:21:24
rating 5.3
2015-02-23 15:46:24
rating 6
2015-02-19 12:56:45
rating 6
2015-01-22 12:58:39
rating 5.6
2015-01-20 18:36:18
rating 6
2015-01-20 13:55:35
rating 5.7
2015-01-13 17:42:41
rating 6
2015-01-12 14:19:44
rating 5.6
2015-01-01 18:21:17
rating 6

2014

2014-12-31 10:04:22
rating 5.7
2014-12-30 10:59:38
rating 6
2014-12-23 09:56:24
rating 6
2014-12-10 14:26:16
rating 5.9
2014-12-09 19:10:26
rating 6
2014-12-01 09:22:30
rating 6
2014-11-29 11:30:56
rating 5.9
2014-11-26 18:07:55
rating 6
2014-11-09 22:35:16
rating 6
2014-11-07 12:26:08
rating 6
2014-11-06 11:55:47
rating 6
2014-11-03 13:49:56
rating 6
2014-10-28 21:49:57
rating 6
2014-10-28 19:50:01
rating 6
2014-10-24 11:36:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-23 11:43:20
rating 6
2014-10-21 01:42:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-19 22:19:28
rating 6
2014-10-17 23:39:15
rating 6
2014-10-13 23:48:20
rating 6
2014-10-01 15:24:43
rating 5.9
2014-09-26 17:01:02
rating 5.9
2014-09-25 20:40:17
rating 6
2014-09-23 14:10:11
rating 6
2014-09-16 15:35:31
rating 6
2014-09-16 00:15:22
rating 6
2014-09-11 16:16:54
rating 5.8
2015-03-04 13:54:35
7 votes, rating 6
Gromstomp Part 4 - In the Moot
Post game: Fling Your Partner By The Hand 0-3 Der Green Tide

The air is fresh and pleasant on this early spring evening in the Moot as we make our way through the throngs of deliriously happy goblins and out of the stadium. The Great Gobbo is beaming as he accepts the adulation of the Tide fans. Somewhere behind us there is the sound of breaking glass and a drunken cheer goes up. Gromstomp acts as an icebreaker, parting the sea of fans for us to follow in his wake, but even then a particularly drunk gobbo stumbles into the Great Gobbo. A flash of something bright and then he is swallowed up by the crowd again, just another green drop in the Tide.

The Great Gobbo: "Rite den gang we needz ter celebrate! Ed fer dat pub!"

The sign outside the tavern gives the establishments name as the Green Dragon, which someone has recently changed to Tide with chalk. Well actually what it really says is 'Tibe' but for a goblin this seems close enough. The bar is packed but the first thing you notice is the smell wafting out of the swing doors of the kitchen which is delicious. Gromstomp finds us a recently vacated table (very recently, we can still see the previous occupant sailing away through the air) and the celebrations begin.

As we start on our second round the Great Gobbo takes a quick look around before unfurling a piece of parchment from his pocket, which he then holds under the table whilst he reads it.

KO! Magazine: "What have you got there GG?"
GG: "Dis iz der reel reesun why we iz in der Moot"
KO!: "What is it then?"
GG: "Intelligence report frum wun o der ladz on dat git Red Nose Franks lokashun"
Honest John: "Is that the reason you made us play this game in the Moot?"
GG: "Exactly. Wun gobbo on iz own spyin on dat nome wud stand out like a sore fum, but fill der Moot wiv Tide fanz an oo iz gunna notice wun moar ikkle gobbo?"
KO!: "That is exceptionally cunning. So what does the report say?"
GG: "Well der iz gud newz an bad newz. Dis nome livez in an expensive ole in der grownd. It iz wun of free dat az bin set inta der same bank. Der gud newz iz dat der middle ole iz up fer sale"
HJ: "And the bad news?"
GG: "Yew iz nevva gunna believe oo livez in der ovva ole"
KO!: "Kam"
HJ: "Zed"
Doctor Eadcase: "Me!?"
GG: "It'z both of em!"
DE: "Me?"
GG: "No not yew, Kam an Zed. Seemz dat dis ole was owned by der gratest alflin blud bowl koach evva, Mince Lambrini, an wen ee wuz getting old ee invited der too bestest yung obit coaches, Kam an Zed, ter live wiv im az ee tawt em everyfin ee new bout koachin alflins. Den ee died."
KO!: "So why are they both stil there?"
GG: "Seems dat der ole became nown az der ome o der greatest alflin koach evva, an az dey both fort dat wuz demselves dey both refused ter budge. Sez ere dat dey az der own room eech an spend der rest of der free time windin eech ovva up tryin ter force der ovva wun to move out"
KO!: "Hang on, have I missed something? Why is it good news that the middle home is up for sale?"
GG: "Simples, we buy it an move in. Den we start digging an listenin ter find owt wot dat nome iz reely up tew an den we kumz up wiv a plan"
KO!: "But both Kam and Zed know what you look like, plus ANY goblin moving in next door to Red Nose Frank is going to make him suspicious"
GG: "Dats y we iz gunna do it in secret. Jon ere iz gunna buy der ole wiv an untraceable fake akkownt"
HJ: "I change my name to Jack" he beams proudly
GG: "Den we move in idden in der removal boxes. Gromstomp will stay outside an akt az der security ter keep any nosey gitz away an we jus pretend dat we iz sum rich old obit oo just wantz ter be left in peace ter rite iz book. Jon get anuvva rownd in, I az ter mek a kall ter Big Gob"

TO BE CONTINUED BY PAINSTATE.......
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Comments
Posted by Badoek on 2015-03-04 13:59:40
Great plan!
I lolled at Kam & Zed in a 'ole
Posted by Kam on 2015-03-04 16:44:45
Why do I feel like singing "We wish you a merry blood bath"?
Posted by eldritchfox on 2015-03-05 12:16:35
My gobbos da Gitzzzzz have heard a rumour that might interest you Great_Gobbo.
They have heard that there is this big get together in Nottingham in May where all of the best coaches gather from far and wide to prove who is the greatest.

Surely your ladz should be there!
Posted by The_Great_Gobbo on 2015-03-05 12:33:50
Too fings:

wun) akkordin ter der statz on diz site I iz der wurst koach bar wun evva

an bee) I ent revealin me sekret identity so I kan kontinew me obby o fitin crime fiterz at nite.
Posted by hissa-lives on 2015-03-05 13:15:28
Could always go "Incognita"??