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The_Great_Gobbo
Last seen 9 weeks ago
Goblin
Experienced
Goblin
Record
41/39/645
Win Percentage
8%
Orc
Emerging Star
Orc
Record
13/3/17
Win Percentage
44%
Overall
[R]
Veteran
Overall
Record
54/42/661
Win Percentage
10%
Archive

2018

2018-01-05 12:15:30
rating 5.4

2017

2017-12-27 16:43:51
rating 5.5
2017-03-01 21:20:56
rating 6

2016

2016-12-12 17:33:50
rating 5.9
2016-12-08 21:04:33
rating 6
2016-12-07 21:09:17
rating 6
2016-12-06 17:59:32
rating 6
2016-10-06 08:51:41
rating 5.7
2016-04-20 19:06:50
rating 5.8
2016-01-18 08:46:18
rating 5.8

2015

2015-12-24 12:58:46
rating 5.4
2015-10-12 15:43:14
rating 6
2015-10-05 15:10:52
rating 6
2015-10-01 14:42:06
rating 6
2015-08-06 15:36:54
rating 5.7
2015-07-17 00:28:10
rating 5.8
2015-07-15 15:22:22
rating 6
2015-06-30 11:54:03
rating 5.9
2015-04-22 14:17:08
rating 5.6
2015-04-20 12:52:18
rating 5.6
2015-04-10 01:05:15
rating 5.5
2015-03-17 00:43:05
rating 5.7
2015-03-12 14:31:14
rating 6
2015-03-11 00:24:39
rating 5.8
2015-03-04 13:54:35
rating 6
2015-03-02 15:21:24
rating 5.3
2015-02-23 15:46:24
rating 6
2015-02-19 12:56:45
rating 6
2015-01-22 12:58:39
rating 5.6
2015-01-20 18:36:18
rating 6
2015-01-20 13:55:35
rating 5.7
2015-01-13 17:42:41
rating 6
2015-01-12 14:19:44
rating 5.6
2015-01-01 18:21:17
rating 6

2014

2014-12-31 10:04:22
rating 5.7
2014-12-30 10:59:38
rating 6
2014-12-23 09:56:24
rating 6
2014-12-10 14:26:16
rating 5.9
2014-12-09 19:10:26
rating 6
2014-12-01 09:22:30
rating 6
2014-11-29 11:30:56
rating 5.9
2014-11-26 18:07:55
rating 6
2014-11-09 22:35:16
rating 6
2014-11-07 12:26:08
rating 6
2014-11-06 11:55:47
rating 6
2014-11-03 13:49:56
rating 6
2014-10-28 21:49:57
rating 6
2014-10-28 19:50:01
rating 6
2014-10-24 11:36:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-23 11:43:20
rating 6
2014-10-21 01:42:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-19 22:19:28
rating 6
2014-10-17 23:39:15
rating 6
2014-10-13 23:48:20
rating 6
2014-10-01 15:24:43
rating 5.9
2014-09-26 17:01:02
rating 5.9
2014-09-25 20:40:17
rating 6
2014-09-23 14:10:11
rating 6
2014-09-16 15:35:31
rating 6
2014-09-16 00:15:22
rating 6
2014-09-11 16:16:54
rating 5.8
2016-04-20 19:06:50
26 votes, rating 5.8
The Preacher
It was the beginning of spring, the nettles in the Great Gobbo’s front garden were growing nicely, and the wheels of the burnt out cart were sporting a new coat of rust. Nigel was having a great time bouncing around in the weeds and thistles, chasing anything that she managed to disturb including a sleeping Hinkka Trollfitta. Whilst the Great Gobbo was enjoying watching his diminutive receiver desperately trying to climb a tree to avoid getting eaten, he noticed another goblin racing along the track to his cave. Soon the flustered little goblin was wheezing at the Great Gobbo’s feet.

‘Ent yew erd?’ it gasped. ‘Blud bowl an Fumbbl iz ded, dey needz ter be revitalized!’

‘Sez oo?’ said the Great Gobbo raising a sceptical eyebrow.

‘Sez dis bloke in der town skware, ee iz yelling iz zoggin ed off, sum kinda preecha I finkz!’

‘Kummon ladz, we needz ter chek dis git owt,’ bellowed the Great Gobbo, ‘ter der teem kart!’

A short sharp shower had fallen, and water had seeped into the preacher’s tent. Suddenly he heard the rattle of heavy wheels and poking his head out of the wet tent flaps saw a cart being pulled by a big red squig come barrelling into the town square. Excitedly he scurried back into the tent, pulling damp clothes out of his bag in a frantic search for a clean shirt. His coat was caked with mud, the leather of his shoes was cracked and the buckles had instantly tarnished in the acid marshes, but surely a clean shirt – A small green head popped through the damp opening of the tent.

‘Oi, yew! We iz all owt ere waitin ter ear yer planz, get a zoggin move on!’

So he went out and saw the watching faces of a large population of goblins lined up in the late afternoon light. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

‘Attention lesser beings,’ he began in a loud confidant voice, ‘Blood Bowl and Fumbbl are dead, but fear not for I am here to guide you to the light, the truth and salvation!’

His words echoed around the square to a thunderous silence. Unperturbed he ploughed on.

‘Confess your sins, repent and follow my teachings or forever be damned in the name of Nuffle!’

‘Fekk off dikk ead!’ came a heckle from the massed crowd of goblins. The preachers face turned red with righteous indignation.

‘Who dares challenge my proclimations?’ he screamed, eyes bulging, ‘guards, guards, arrest that person!’

The square erupted into laughter. The Great Gobbo leaned over to Borg Fatead.

‘I fort yew se dee woz a preacher, sowndz moar like a klown ter me!’

‘Wont me ter sort im boss?’ enquired the heavily scarred goblin.

‘Nah, ee sowndz like wun o dem looniez from dat speshul ospital. Iz karer iz probably lookin fer im.’

‘Who is talking when I am talking?!’ bellowed the red faced man. ‘I am the saviour, I am the voice, I AM BLOOD BOWL AND YOU WILL LISTEN WHEN I TALK!’

‘Yew ent sed anyfin yet’ said the heckler.

‘WHO IS THAT?! WHO IS THAT?!’ demanded the preacher, jumping from foot to foot with indignation. ‘I WILL HAVE YOU THROWN IN PRISON! GUARDS, DO SOMETHING!’

‘Pipe down mate or piss off’ said the Great Gobbo, an undertone of menace in his voice.

‘DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?! I AM THE GREAT…’

‘I doant give a munkeyz oo yew iz’ interrupted the Great Gobbo. The mood had suddenly turned violent, and many a previously unseen dagger were now out in plain view. ‘Blud bowl ent ded. Fumbbl ent ded, but yew will be if yer doant shut yer face an zogg off. Oo put yew in charge anyway? We woz avvin a nice time until yew showed up an started showtin yer mouff off so wind yer neck in.’

‘Fine, I shall take my message to another place, one where I will not be ridiculed but embraced as the spiritual liege that Blood Bowl and Fumbbl needs.’

‘Gud lukk wiv dat yew egotistical maniac’ said the Great Gobbo as the preacher stormed back into his tent. ‘ I fink I prefer dem Clawpomb kultists den burkz like dat, at leest dey doant tell me dat dey iz der only opshun, just der besterest. Anyway ladz I iz bored o dis eejit, letz go owm an av a drink.’

And with that the Great Gobbo and Der Green Tide went home to have a beer and a pick-up game of Blood Bowl in the Great Gobbo’s garden, and fun was had by all. Except for the preacher who died alone and miserable.
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Comments
Posted by the_Sage on 2016-04-21 02:01:17
any resemblence to recently rejoined fumbblers is purely coincidental.
Posted by Jeffro on 2016-04-21 03:25:17
Hot damn, this is brilliant fiction :)

Thank you & ROLL tide!!